Thought Catalog

A Guide to Writing the Most Generic OkCupid Profile Ever

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If you’re a guy…

My Self- Summary

I hate writing these things/I suck at describing myself/I am not at all good at this but here goes nothing… I’m an easygoing guy. I love a challenge/adventure/good movie. My friends say I’m ________. I’ll let you judge that for yourself, though. [Insert emoticon of choice.]

You’re not going to get to know me from anything I write here because everyone lies/ doesn’t see themselves the way others do, so just message me and get to know me that way!

What I’m Doing With My Life

Living for the moment/I work in _______ and I’m very passionate about it/I’m taking one day at a time/I go to the gym daily/Working in ________ but considering going back to school for my Master’s/PhD

I’m Really Good At

Making people laugh/Cooking/Making the best of a situation

The First Thing People Usually Notice About Me

I guess you’d have to ask other people :P But seriously, my eyes/height/smile, probably.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, food

  1. Catcher in the Rye. A Clockwork Orange. I don’t own a TV. Death From Above 1979. Vietnamese.
  2. Books – I haven’t read a book in years, LOL, too busy. Movies – Fight Club; The Hangover; Wedding Singer; Old School; Anchorman; Starksy and Hutch; Happy Gilmore; Stepbrothers; Big Daddy; Semi-pro; Wedding Crashers; Boondocks Saints; Big Lebowski. Shows – Family Guy; American Idol; Cash Cab; Wheel of Fortune. Music – Blink 182; Staind; Taking Back Sunday; The Frey; Mighty Mighty Bosstones; The Ataris; MXPX; Puddle of Mudd; Everclear; Beach Boys; Nickleback; Limp Bizkit; Busta Rhymez; Tone Loc; The Beatles; Jay Z; Kanye West; Snow Patrol. Food – Beer is my food, LOL.
  3. Lots of stuff. Message me and find out.

The six things I could never live without

A. I can live without pretty much everything

B. 1. Water

2. Air

3. Food

4. Shelter

5. Freedom

6. Love

C. My iPhone; my friends; girls with bangs; a sketchpad; a MetroCard; my dog Rufus

I spend a lot of time thinking about

The future

On a typical Friday night I am

It depends/I’m usually at home watching a movie/at a bar with friends/at home watching a movie or at a bar with friends, typically.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

…that I’m on a dating site? LOL

You should message me if

You want to

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  • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com Aja

    You left out that everyone considers themselves “sarcastic”. EVERYONE.

    • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

      i don't consider myself sarcastic.

      /sarcasm

      /sarcasm

      /sarcasm

      O_O

    • theehill

      I've noticed this A LOT lately and it's driving me nuts. Additionally, this means that everyone thinks they are funny in someway. They are not.

      • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com Aja

        It drives me nuts too. Anything which must be loudly declared doesn't have a stitch of truth behind it. Like girls who wear pants that say “hot” on the butt.

    • http://loveandradio.org Nick vdK

      I love how many people declare themselves on OKC to be sarcastic or funny and then show zero evidence of either trait. Didn't they take a 7th grade writing class? Show don't tell, people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TomSmizzle Tom Smith

    Awesome article. Spot on. I think it was actually an article on TC saying “hey make your OKCupid profile more interesting, idiot” that spurred me to drop the generic bullshit and put in some jokes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1663931458 Harley Quinn

    sums up practically every profile of the 20something.

  • http://twitter.com/srslydrew Andrew F.

    This definitely extends to pretty much every internet profile (myspace, facebook, tumblr, twitter, etc), although I understand OkCupid is en vogue right now.

  • http://twitter.com/bsdf BEN ENGLISCH
  • Jordan

    Haha I'm glad there was a female version here too, the whole 'i'm a girl but i can hang with the guys' thing is driving me nuts! Its a good quality but its just hilarious to see it over and over again

  • http://twitter.com/kyleangeletti Kyle Angeletti

    painfully true.

  • MADMAX

    this is so spot on

  • MADMAX

    this is so spot on

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    Is it bad if I thought that this profile was intriguing to me?

  • http://twitter.com/datingbrian Brian

    You might've forgotten a mention of whiskey, in either guys' or girls' profiles.

    And, as someone who sees all girl profiles, I have to say that your guy one fits a girl as much as it does a guy. Especially 'I hate writing these things/I suck at describing myself/I am not at all good at this but here goes nothing…” and “…that I’m on a dating site? LOL.”

    See that shit constantly.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      I think whiskey might be the universal namedrop.

      I had to rely on my male roommate and a cursory glance at 10-15 female profiles for the girl version, but yeah I've seen both of those phrases upwards of 100K times since I joined in '07.

  • http://twitter.com/lukebourassa Luke Bourassa

    I love when people write “Everything except country”. Seriously? Johnny Cash, at LEAST? Also, I doubt “everything” would include Acid Mother's Temple.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      Yeah like, ain't nothin wrong with a little Dolly. C'mon now.

    • To

      I like the Acid Mothers Temple shoutout.

  • shoehorn

    the profiles made me feel rage while reading, excellent job

  • Not On OkCupid

    Makes me want to sign up on OkCupid.

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    Tao Lin would say, 'Seems bleak.' I thought, “Jesus, I'm glad I'm not single.”

  • Bcoates

    1. Hey, I really like falafel.
    2. MXPX. Lol lol lol.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      i need the kind of girl that knows
      a girl that likes to wear my clothes
      someone who always buys me coke
      someone who laughs at all my jokes

  • yeko

    accidental cool guy smileys are my favorite thing ever. my bread butter milk & honey

  • Mark

    The use of capitalization, full words, and every third word not being misspelt makes these profiles anything but typical.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      Gotta draw the line somewhere … :)

  • Quinton Harris

    hahahahaa nice one on the *real* integrity and *strong* foundation…

  • http://eveningrevolution.com/ Jonathan Manor

     This makes me want to listen to some Frey and Taking Back Sunday

  • http://twitter.com/thoughtlessbeast ami

    SVU IS SO FUCKING GOOD

  • Roblee777

    I dont agree with your typical girl profile…which makes sense since you are a girl and have probably read way more guy profiles. Actually the typical guy profile that you described is closer to the actual typical girl profile…which is interesting.

  • http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LondonBrit LondonBrit

    “Kiss me, and just get it over with”

    ;o)

  • http://the-gaggle.com/2013/02/the-internet-is-my-wingman/ The Internet Is My Wingman - The Gaggle

    […] Don’t Do Any of This, Seriously. And you’ll do fine, I […]

  • http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/144842-doctors-love-help-poor-intj.html#post3675766 PersonalityCafe

    […] is that you're sarcastic and cynical. Read this and think of the traits that each answer carries. A Guide to Writing the Most Generic OkCupid Profile Ever | Thought Catalog Think about it this way, the questions they make you fill out to get a "match indicator" […]

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