A Guide to Writing the Most Generic OkCupid Profile Ever

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If you’re a guy…

My Self- Summary

I hate writing these things/I suck at describing myself/I am not at all good at this but here goes nothing… I’m an easygoing guy. I love a challenge/adventure/good movie. My friends say I’m ________. I’ll let you judge that for yourself, though. [Insert emoticon of choice.]

You’re not going to get to know me from anything I write here because everyone lies/ doesn’t see themselves the way others do, so just message me and get to know me that way!

What I’m Doing With My Life

Living for the moment/I work in _______ and I’m very passionate about it/I’m taking one day at a time/I go to the gym daily/Working in ________ but considering going back to school for my Master’s/PhD

I’m Really Good At

Making people laugh/Cooking/Making the best of a situation

The First Thing People Usually Notice About Me

I guess you’d have to ask other people :P But seriously, my eyes/height/smile, probably.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, food

  1. Catcher in the Rye. A Clockwork Orange. I don’t own a TV. Death From Above 1979. Vietnamese.
  2. Books – I haven’t read a book in years, LOL, too busy. Movies – Fight Club; The Hangover; Wedding Singer; Old School; Anchorman; Starksy and Hutch; Happy Gilmore; Stepbrothers; Big Daddy; Semi-pro; Wedding Crashers; Boondocks Saints; Big Lebowski. Shows – Family Guy; American Idol; Cash Cab; Wheel of Fortune. Music – Blink 182; Staind; Taking Back Sunday; The Frey; Mighty Mighty Bosstones; The Ataris; MXPX; Puddle of Mudd; Everclear; Beach Boys; Nickleback; Limp Bizkit; Busta Rhymez; Tone Loc; The Beatles; Jay Z; Kanye West; Snow Patrol. Food – Beer is my food, LOL.
  3. Lots of stuff. Message me and find out.

The six things I could never live without

A. I can live without pretty much everything

B. 1. Water

2. Air

3. Food

4. Shelter

5. Freedom

6. Love

C. My iPhone; my friends; girls with bangs; a sketchpad; a MetroCard; my dog Rufus

I spend a lot of time thinking about

The future

On a typical Friday night I am

It depends/I’m usually at home watching a movie/at a bar with friends/at home watching a movie or at a bar with friends, typically.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

…that I’m on a dating site? LOL

You should message me if

You want to

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Instagram Poet’s “3-Step Book” To Conquer Trauma

Depression is real. Anxiety is real. PTSD is real. ALL mental illnesses are real. Don’t believe anyone who is trying to tell you otherwise.

Every time I’m stressed I distract myself with doing something nice for someone else and it’s the best thing on this planet to watch someone’s eyes light up because they weren’t expecting something nice to happen.

Click here to learn about Nikita

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  • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com Aja

    You left out that everyone considers themselves “sarcastic”. EVERYONE.

    • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

      i don't consider myself sarcastic.





    • theehill

      I've noticed this A LOT lately and it's driving me nuts. Additionally, this means that everyone thinks they are funny in someway. They are not.

      • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com Aja

        It drives me nuts too. Anything which must be loudly declared doesn't have a stitch of truth behind it. Like girls who wear pants that say “hot” on the butt.

    • http://loveandradio.org Nick vdK

      I love how many people declare themselves on OKC to be sarcastic or funny and then show zero evidence of either trait. Didn't they take a 7th grade writing class? Show don't tell, people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TomSmizzle Tom Smith

    Awesome article. Spot on. I think it was actually an article on TC saying “hey make your OKCupid profile more interesting, idiot” that spurred me to drop the generic bullshit and put in some jokes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1663931458 Harley Quinn

    sums up practically every profile of the 20something.

  • http://twitter.com/srslydrew Andrew F.

    This definitely extends to pretty much every internet profile (myspace, facebook, tumblr, twitter, etc), although I understand OkCupid is en vogue right now.

  • http://twitter.com/bsdf BEN ENGLISCH
  • Jordan

    Haha I'm glad there was a female version here too, the whole 'i'm a girl but i can hang with the guys' thing is driving me nuts! Its a good quality but its just hilarious to see it over and over again

  • http://twitter.com/kyleangeletti Kyle Angeletti

    painfully true.


    this is so spot on


    this is so spot on

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    Is it bad if I thought that this profile was intriguing to me?

  • http://twitter.com/datingbrian Brian

    You might've forgotten a mention of whiskey, in either guys' or girls' profiles.

    And, as someone who sees all girl profiles, I have to say that your guy one fits a girl as much as it does a guy. Especially 'I hate writing these things/I suck at describing myself/I am not at all good at this but here goes nothing…” and “…that I’m on a dating site? LOL.”

    See that shit constantly.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      I think whiskey might be the universal namedrop.

      I had to rely on my male roommate and a cursory glance at 10-15 female profiles for the girl version, but yeah I've seen both of those phrases upwards of 100K times since I joined in '07.

  • http://twitter.com/lukebourassa Luke Bourassa

    I love when people write “Everything except country”. Seriously? Johnny Cash, at LEAST? Also, I doubt “everything” would include Acid Mother's Temple.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      Yeah like, ain't nothin wrong with a little Dolly. C'mon now.

    • To

      I like the Acid Mothers Temple shoutout.

  • shoehorn

    the profiles made me feel rage while reading, excellent job

  • Not On OkCupid

    Makes me want to sign up on OkCupid.

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    Tao Lin would say, 'Seems bleak.' I thought, “Jesus, I'm glad I'm not single.”

  • Bcoates

    1. Hey, I really like falafel.
    2. MXPX. Lol lol lol.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      i need the kind of girl that knows
      a girl that likes to wear my clothes
      someone who always buys me coke
      someone who laughs at all my jokes

  • yeko

    accidental cool guy smileys are my favorite thing ever. my bread butter milk & honey

  • Mark

    The use of capitalization, full words, and every third word not being misspelt makes these profiles anything but typical.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      Gotta draw the line somewhere … :)

  • Quinton Harris

    hahahahaa nice one on the *real* integrity and *strong* foundation…

  • http://eveningrevolution.com/ Jonathan Manor

     This makes me want to listen to some Frey and Taking Back Sunday

  • http://twitter.com/thoughtlessbeast ami


  • Roblee777

    I dont agree with your typical girl profile…which makes sense since you are a girl and have probably read way more guy profiles. Actually the typical guy profile that you described is closer to the actual typical girl profile…which is interesting.

  • http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LondonBrit LondonBrit

    “Kiss me, and just get it over with”


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    […] Don’t Do Any of This, Seriously. And you’ll do fine, I […]

  • http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/144842-doctors-love-help-poor-intj.html#post3675766 PersonalityCafe

    […] is that you're sarcastic and cynical. Read this and think of the traits that each answer carries. A Guide to Writing the Most Generic OkCupid Profile Ever | Thought Catalog Think about it this way, the questions they make you fill out to get a "match indicator" […]

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