Having trouble getting the ladies to swipe right? If you have one of these 10 types of pics in your profile, that might be why…
1. Jekyll and Hyde
It seems like this should go without saying, but your pictures should be consistent. I’ve left-swiped dozens of profiles because I couldn’t tell what the guys actually looked like. Do you have beard right now or not? Are you 35, like your profile says, or 25, like that pic of you downing a PBR in the second suggests? In one shot you look like Gatsby Leonardo, but in the next, you’re more The Revenant. No way for me to tell? No way I’m swiping right.
2. Something’s fishy
If fishing is one of your fondest pastimes, great. Good for you. I do want to know about your hobbies. But unfortunately, it’s a hobby you share with, oh, about a zillion other dudes. Most (I know, not all) girls don’t find the sight of you holding up your catch particularly sexy, interesting, or unique. So unless that sucker is, like, Jaws, go fish.
3. Hunting season
I know there are girls out there who enjoy the bloodsport that is hunting. But it’s jarring to be swiping happily along and suddenly be faced with a deer carcass, or worse, carcasses. Again, we want to know what you’re passionate about. But if you’re hunting for right swipes, consider changing your weapon.
4. Let’s (not) hear it for the girls
That’s great that the cute girl in your pics is your sister or your cousin. But I don’t want to have to read your profile to get that information. Seeing you with another girl, or multiple girls, is an immediate turn-off. And no, posting a picture of yourself with a bunch of hot chicks to whom you are not related doesn’t make us think, “Gee, girls like him! I should like him too!” It makes us think, “Douche.”
5. It’s best when the cheese stands alone
Please don’t mostly or only post pictures of you with other people. One or two is okay. I want to know you have a social life and aren’t living in your mom’s basement (ahem, Todd…), but don’t leave me struggling to figure out which one is you.
Okay, okay, you aren’t a star fucker (at least, I hope you aren’t). But pictures with celebrities, especially D-listers, are a surefire way to get left-swiped by quality girls. We don’t care that you got a selfie with John Stamos at the Chipotle in Redondo Beach, and the fact that you think we might means you’ll probably be dining there alone tonight.
7. Vehicular Swipe Slaughter
Pic of you in or standing in front of a high-end car? Yeah. We’re going to assume it’s not yours. Even if it is yours, you’re only going to attract sugar babies. If that’s what you’re looking for, knock yourself out. If not, steer clear of those poser pics.
8. Gym selfies = duck lips for dudes
I’m glad you have abs. I’d like to explore them. But try showing off that rockin’ bod doing something a little more adventurous and intriguing. Let me imagine your physique in a scenario I could picture myself enjoying with you, like soaking up some rays poolside or on the beach. Be proud of yourself for gettin’ swole, just try not to let that come across as a swollen ego.
9. Who’s your daddy?
Don’t assume that every girl’s knees buckle at the sight of a man cuddling a baby. Of course, there are instances when it can be super attractive, and if you do have a baby, please do showcase your adorable dad skills. But if we have to figure out that you’ve posted pictures with someone else’s baby (e.g., “Baby is my niece”), we might be inclined to swipe left and hit the bottle ourselves.
10. Invisible man
If you post a pictures of scenic backgrounds, your dog, risqué memes, or anything else that doesn’t feature Y-O-U, there are a few assumptions we can make, including but not limited to: You’re Quasimodo, you’re on the FBI’s Most Wanted List, or you are, in fact, a ghost. And if you post a picture of yourself with your face cropped out, we’re 100% going to assume you’re married. If I can’t see you, you’re never going to see me.
So what kind of pictures should you post? Anything and everything that reveals details about your true self: what you’re passionate about, what you do for a living, how well you clean up, your sense of humor, places you’ve traveled to, etc. Be genuine and show yourself at your best. It’s hard to get it just right (we know, it’s hard for us too!), but once you do, the girl of your dreams just might swipe in that direction.