Finding our purpose in life and who we want to share our time with is such a challenging journey. We often feel confused as to where to go or who to trust. It’s okay to have absolutely no clue when it comes to this. In a world as complex and big as ours, it’s normal to doubt your every move. Should I do this? Should I say that? Believe me, we’ve all been there.
But fear not, for we must trust in timing, as it is annoyingly essential and always right when it comes to figuring out who we are and what we want.
I’ve always wanted to become a writer, so I started drafting my book a year into university, and that’s when I first felt completely lost. I had a pen full of black ink and a mind with a million screaming ideas. Incredibly confused, I had no idea how to express my thoughts, so I closed my empty notebook, walked away from it and continued with my day.
This kept happening for a while until finally, my muse came back and I started writing again. Through my writing, I found my voice. I continued drafting until my book was finished, and then all I could think about was publishing. Period. I got so obsessed with the idea of publishing and making it as an author that I was not enjoying the journey that would lead me to my point of destination.
Frustrated with not publishing immediately, I put off my book for months, and then I felt that feeling again — I was lost. I had this beautiful book drafted out in front of me, I knew who I wanted to publish it with and what I wanted it to look like. So what was holding me back?
I was very saturated, and my future felt like it held a giant question mark. I needed time to think, explore, breathe and learn more about myself. I had no idea what to expect, and most of the time I did not know where to go. I then decided to take six months off to myself.
In that time, I moved to Madrid and I traveled to over fifteen cities and began to piece myself together. I decided to get lost in the cultures of many different places and their beautiful history, discovering secrets on every street corner as they whispered confessions and ignited fires. A piece of my heart was left behind after every expedition, but at the same time, my soul felt more refreshed, energized, and stronger than ever. I realized there’s a whole world out there worth exploring, full of history and tales that take us back in time in order to understand the now. Throughout my travels, I had never felt so in touch with my feelings as I began to learn new things about the world we live in, other human beings, and most importantly, about myself.
After putting my thoughts back into perspective, I sat down and took a deep breath as I began to think about what I truly wanted. Not what my parents, friends, teachers or cousins wanted for me, but what I wanted for me — me being the decision maker in terms of how I want to spend my remaining years on planet Earth.
It was then and there when I finally felt ready to publish my book and realized timing is absolutely everything. The journey that got me to that deciding factor was definitely a spiral, but it pieced me together. Finally, I knew who I was.
After realizing how happy writing truly makes me, I returned to Boston with a fresher and more mature perspective. Overall, I was happier. I was calm and content with the now as I gazed at the future with joy and not terror. Everything fell into place, and it felt right. My overall emotional and psychological health was the best it has ever been, and I was prepared to share my feelings with the world. A few months prior, the old me would’ve probably been scared to open up despite being desperate to publish. Clearly, I wasn’t ready to open the locks on my heart and share my experiences, but I am now, and that’s when I realized the importance of timing and trusting in the universe as it helps map out our constellations.
Timing is such a tricky subject; it make us question so much in so little time. We often ponder why or how things happen the way they did, and those questions remain unanswered. Timing is a non-physical concept that feels like it’s controlled and resting on the palm of our hands, when in reality, it literally yanks things from our fingertips until we are ready to have them once more.
Timing, in its essence, is just a representation of what can be or what will be. It doesn’t accurately represent the now, which is why it’s hard to accept change and the fact that what’s meant to be will be, even if it’s later on in life. It’s easy to get comfortable with life after experiencing a few perfect hours or a few perfect days, but timing is not permanent. We must understand that everything will come at the right time once all the puzzle pieces have been placed together. Don’t take anything for granted — nothing lasts forever.
So if you are unsure about what you want to do or who you want to be, then that’s a-okay. In life, we must first lose our heads a bit before we glue them back on to the rest of our bodies. In the end, what’s meant to be will happen, and timing will take care of things. What does not feel right now might be perfect in five years. It’s important to remember to joyfully ride the wave that is life and remind yourself that not everything will fall into place when you want. It will fall into place when time is just. Once it has, it’ll feel right, and you’ll realize how sometimes we must let go of things and let the winds of faith take control.
So relax, breathe, and live. Your time will come, and in the meantime, continue smiling and embracing the beautiful challenges that will make you stronger with each passing day.