8 Reasons Why Meat Rules The English Language (Sorry, Vegetarians)

For decades, Americans haven’t just reserved the right to refer to cold cuts only when it comes to sandwich making. We use cold-cut-talk in our day-to-day discussions. Whether we’re spreading middle school gossip, engaged in high school drama, or picking up life hazardous habits in college, cold cut vernacular is alive and real. So, wake up and smell the cooked lunch meats, because they ain’t goin’ anywhere anytime soon.

We use meat (and cheese) lingo when…

1. You have beef with someone.

Things were going strong for you and your girl. That is, until some egotistical douchebag swooped in and stole her right in front of you. Suddenly, it looks like you have some beef with someone, aka a problem that will most likely escalate to some sort of physical reaction.

2. You have chicken legs.

You’re living young, wild, and free as a prepubescent middle schooler. You are also currently extremely lanky and are made fun of in gym class because you have chicken legs. More likely than not, you will grow out of your scrawny chicken legs. No promises though.

3. You are chicken.

Afraid to cut the lunch line? You’re chicken. Scared of a little rejection? Don’t be a chicken. Completely terrified of what your sorority might do to you during your hazing process? You may just chicken out. Life has its ups and downs, people come and go — but chicken remains.

4. You go cold turkey.

You were stressed out, so your friends convinced you it was a great idea to start buying $10 packs of Marlboros from the creepy gas station around the block. Before you knew it, you were hooked…but, you decided to savor your health the only way you knew how — you stopped smoking completely, or you went cold turkey.

5. You are full of bologna.

Your little brother is too young to be full of shit, so you politely let him know he’s been caught in a lie when he’s full of bologna.

6. You are about to go ham on someone.

A ‘yo mama’ joke was just revived from the playground graveyard. Oh hell no, they better not think they’re getting away with this. Looks like someone is about to go ham, or flip out, on a special target.

7. You’re being cheesy.

We’re post-modernists who strive to be original, yet you brought flowers for the girl on your first date. Overdone? Yeah, it’s been done before, so you’re being a little cheesy.

8. Say cheese!

I’ll say cheese. I’ll eat cheese. And I’ll smile! TC mark

featured image – Parks and Rec


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