Redheads are society’s unspoken minorities. Its been that way, for me at least, since I was a little girl. Hitler loved blonde hair and blue eyes, and so did the Barbie manufacturing company. It went from “girls just wanna’ have fun”, to “blondes have more fun.” There are cultures in the world that hold light skin and light eyed individuals to a higher standard, as if they’re actually superior.
Well, my fellow firecrackers, now that we’re living in a time when everyone strives to be different, us redheads can no longer be left to fade in the shade. Contrary to popular belief, being a redhead has a boatload of pros. So, lets start taking advantage of our rare recessive trait and remember: Haters are our motivators. The redder, the better.
Being a redhead is better because…
1. We don’t have a soul.
If you’re going to use the lame South Park line that “gingers have no souls” — beware. Two can play that game. If I have no soul, I most likely don’t care if I hurt your feelings. If I don’t care that I hurt your feelings, I probably don’t have a conscience. If I don’t have a conscience, you can bet your ass I’m out in the world somewhere having a blast, while you’re dying your hair in attempts to match my color. And on that note…
2. Once a redhead, always a redhead.
No matter how many times you dye your hair, a true redhead is a true redhead. It’s not just a hair color; it’s a lifestyle and personality. Blondes and brunettes can pay hundreds of dollars in their attempts to copy one of our shades, but it’s never going to be as perfect as a natural redhead.
3. We roll in the dough.
Face it — no matter what field you’re going into, you need to bring something ‘unique’ to the table. Every employer is looking for that special something that sets you apart from the pool. Redheads have been in a different pool since we were in the embryo. Literally, we have a rare recessive trait from a different gene pool. We came out of the womb screaming unique. Put us up against 40 other blondes and brunettes at a job interview and who’s going to be remembered?
4. We also roll in the compliments.
Hairdressers are just where the compliments begin! “I would die for your hair color” is only something we hear about…Oh, I don’t know, 7 times per month?
5. We’re not mild redheads, we’re wild redheads.
We are notoriously known to be fun. We don’t need to prove it, besides, sometimes Mother Nature is unexplainable. Hang out with us and you’ll figure it out for yourself.
6. We’re undercover confidence boosters.
The insecure brunette standing next to you is probably telling herself that she looks better because she’s standing next to a ginger. If you’re lucky enough to get inside the mind of a redhead, you’ll know that we know what you’re thinking…and we’re glad to be of service to our aesthetically obsessed society. What you don’t realize is that a confident redhead is not considered ‘red hot’ for no reason.
7. We’re just like wine.
They say wine gets better with age, and so does red hair. We retain our color longer than any other color, and our hair will most likely lighten to blonde before it turns gray, anyway.
8. We have holidays named in our honor.
Redhead Day takes place every year in the Netherlands. National Kiss A Ginger Day exists. We get lots of love on St. Patrick’s Day, even if we aren’t Irish.
9. Celebrities are on our side.
Celebrities are some of the most influential trendsetters in our society. Some of the most popular actresses rock the red. Think about Emma Stone, Julianne Moore, Drew Barrymore, Isla Fisher, Amy Adams…and yes, The Little Mermaid counts.
10. Bonus points if we actually tan.
Yeah, we burn pretty easily, but if our sunburn fades into a tan? Well, not only are we happy because we’re finally tan, but now we have the more exotic look going for us, being a tan redhead and all.
11. We’re funny.
So, you’re funny. But, if you have red hair AND your funny? You’re automatically considered that much funnier, just because of your hair color. Plus, if you’re not naturally funny, a redhead always has crappy ginger jokes to fall back on. All around, it’s a win-win situation.
12. Cute references.
The spectrum is infinite. Any song that has to do with fire can remind you of us. Anytime you’re talking about us, we’re easy to remember because if you weren’t lucky enough to chat with us, we’re “that redhead”. Throughout high school some of my closest friends called me ‘Red’. It was short, cute, and catchy.