The 20 People You Really Don’t Want To Sit Next To On A Long Bus Ride

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1. The girl who smells like beef jerky

2. The silent-but-deadly farter

3. The man who thinks he’s going to find his future wife by striking up a conversation with you

4. Anyone above 6’5′

5. The anime king who indulges in 4 hours of Family Guy re-runs at a very high volume

6. The punk rock chick who blasts her music loud enough that it’s almost as if you’re sharing headphones, but than you realize you don’t even have headphones in

7. The avid carrot cruncher

8. The woman who decides to check up on her children in 30 minute intervals

9. The stranger who you thought was a stranger, but actually knows exactly who you are; so he’s sitting there wondering if you’re going to realize that you two actually aren’t strangers

10. The Long Island Medium

11. The stranger with resting bitch face & a lazy eye that wanders towards you

12. The tourist who insists on asking about your travels

13. The stranger with a small bladder (especially if they have the window seat and you have to get up every time they want to pee)

14. The sleeper who “accidentally” uses you as a pillow

15. The priest who sees you’re wearing the Star of David & decides it’s suddenly his job to convert you

16. The stranger who you thought was cute, but turns out to be interested in the opposite sex

17. The 16 year old boy who thinks it’s funny to secretly take a selfie with you in it & thinks you won’t realize

18. The spit-talker

19. The one who’s sick and insists on saving their tissues in a little bag to reuse them, keeping them in between your seat & theirs

20. The extremely heavy breather

I hope none of you experience any of these individuals on a bus ride longer than 30 minutes. If you do happen to run into them, seek well & live prosper… or imitate them & see how annoying you could really be. TC mark

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