Age And Gender Vs. Texting Ability, A Rate-Based Analysis

Data gathered from my own life.

Hypothesis: Age and texting ability are independent of each other.

Introduction: I have had approximately eight years of experience with texting boys/ guys/ men. The inception of my research took root in 2001 at the tender age of 13. At that time, I used my mother’s cell phone, and was forced to delete all evidence that I had used the text feature on her phone. I was given my own cell phone in 2004 for my 16th birthday.

Data Analysis, Males: When males around age 9 get cell phones, they’re pre-pubescent and are just starting to discover that when they text a girl — even to a borderline stalker extent (see graph above), girls respond favorably. Repeated texting in this manner continually elicits positive response. Text messages frequently utilize shortened lingo such as “u” for “you,” “ur” for “your,” “bb,” for “baby,” etc.

Around high school (age 14), texting ability in males begins to decrease, dropping from high to an eventual medium. During college, ages 18 through 22, we continue to see a decline in male texting ability. Rate drops from medium to low, and from there declines to extremely low from ages 24 through 30.

During the early- to mid-30s, men lose all ability to text. From personal experience in dating a 34-year-old who had virtually no texting ability, but a very high calling ability, I prefer the former. Less ear-to-voice contact, and, let’s be real, who talks on the phone when you can text?

During the mid- to late-30s there is a very slight increase in texting ability, perhaps due to the fact that males at this stage are likely married while pursuing extra-marital affairs, which often require at least a low texting ability.

During the early 40s, we see a spike in the male ability to text, and by the time we reach mid- to late-40s, texting ability begins a rapid ascent, possibly caused by daughters in their early teen years just beginning forays into dating, on whom need to be kept tabs.

By early- to mid-50s, males regress to borderline stalker status once again, speculatively due to the incessant worry regarding college-age daughters. Typical texting behavior is repeated and obsessive vies for contact throughout the day, asking anything from “What did U have 4 dinner?” to “Are U coming home 4 Thanksgiving?” to the much appreciated, “Do U need any $$?? Can mail U a chek.”

Data Analysis, Women: Women exhibit abnormally high texting ability throughout life.

Conclusion: Text messaging ability in males is inversely proportional to age. As age increases, text messaging decreases until males become fathers.TC mark

image – Joi


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  • courtleee

    My mom still texts with her index finger.

  • Chuckling

    Hardy har har.

  • Katie

    Pretty sure you might have gathered data from my life too. This seems about right

  • Rishtopher

    I think there’s some factors here that you didn’t take into consideration:

    Do you have a smartphone? — If you both have one, then texting is made infinitely easier. Your text conversation appears in a stream and is easy to keep track of. If one/both of you do NOT have one, texting is infinitely more annoying than just calling; texts over 140 characters arrive separately (sometimes out of order). I don’t own one, so my interest in responding to long messages decreases for each text I receive out of order. 

    How many texts are you sending per hour? — Text message conversations are not analogous to MSN/Gchat. When you’re chatting, you’re both generally free, but not so with text messages. If I wanted to have a serious chat with you, I’d be on Gchat or I’d call. Also why do people send texts asking if you got their previous one? Most annoying thing ever.

    Is this a conversation that could’ve happened faster over the phone? — Pretty self explanatory, but if you’re sending an anecdote or explanation and it’s taking a long time to get to the point, just wait til later and call. Or get on Gchat. Or just use Facebook. 

    One last thing: I feel like if you used the word “desire/interest” to text, that would be more accurate. In my own personal experience (I only know people up to 25 years old though), most guys just find texting bothersome because they get spammed a lot and it’s just annoying to constantly be checking your phone.

    Anyways, good article, I appreciate your graph.

    • Anonymous

      you looked way to far into this

      • Rishtopher

        My class is just really, really boring.

      • Soraya

        woulda made for a better article tbqh

  • Gregory Costa

    This also explains why females are more likely to piss me at the movies…or just about any social event.  Put your damn phones away.  Your social life isn’t that important.  I assure you.  Yes, Jacky called you a fat bitch whore, so you can confront her about it when the movie is done. 

    • Sheniqua La Rouche

      who is named Jacky tho 

      • Gregory Costa

        How the hell should I know?  I don’t have friends.

  • Tryptamine

    This is slightly nit picky, but would the correct grammar be “…on whom tabs need to be kept.” rather than “…on whom need to be kept tabs.”?

    • Stefania

      Maybe?  I’m a science geek.  Grammar was never really my forte.  

  • Chynna Joy

    Pretty accurately just described the awkward “When R U coming home?” texts from my awkward father. Hahaha.

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