One of the best moments in life is when you find someone that you’re ready to make a commitment to. Whether this commitment is dating exclusively, moving in together, getting engaged, saying “I do”, or just being able to agree on a damn place to go out to dinner — it feels good to know that this is your person. However, sometimes, this moment of elation is followed by complete disappointment when the other person doesn’t feel the same way. In a lot of these cases, it’s not that they want to check out completely; they just “aren’t ready”. If you have found yourself in a similar situation, please keep reading… I wish someone had sent this to me a very long time ago.
Dear Super Amazing Person,
You’re in quite the pickle right now, eh? What are you doing waiting around for them to decide about you? I wish I could give you the strength you need right now. You need to know how much you’re really worth. You need to know how much you truly deserve. Most importantly, you need to know that you are far stronger than you believe.
I know that this all sounds like a bunch of bullshit. Please stick with me.
I promise I understand how you’re feeling right now. You’re a complete shit storm of all feelings. You’re worried – “Will they ever make a decision?” You’re still somewhat optimistic – “Hey, this could still go my way.” You’re angry – “If they don’t know by now, what in the fuck am I doing?” But above all, you’re scared. You’re scared to lose this person. You’re scared to hurt.
The worst part about this relationship purgatory is when optimism and fear team up and work in tandem to keep you on the hook. Oh, the hook. Nothing about this situation is fun. It doesn’t feel good to be dragged along by someone who “likes” you just enough to keep you around but not enough to fully commit. This person is keeping you on the hook for whatever reason and it’s a terrible place to be. When you’re on the hook, you’re harnessed in, floundering behind the boat’s propeller, water splashing in your face, and holding on for dear life. Pretty much torture.
This person isn’t going to change.
Let me repeat: this person is not going to change.
It’s time to let go. It’s time to remove yourself from the hook. This person has kept you in this limbo version of hell for long enough. Removing the hook is not going to feel good. It’s going to sting. It’s going to take some effort and once you begin removing the hook you must stick with it. It’s also going to leave a scar. It’s going to take some time to heal. It might only take a little bit of time or it may take longer to move on, but you know what? At least you’ll be off the hook – and now you’re free. Now you can freely swim around in a giant ocean full of other fish that might actually be interested in you – and ready to commit. You’re worth it. You are worthy of being in a relationship with someone who cares just as much as you do.
You can do it. If I can do it, so can you.