This is what we all want, right ladies? We want the guy who walked away from us to wake up one day and realize what a terrible mistake he made. We all watch romantic comedies and take terrible Cosmo quizzes in hopes that maybe, just maybe, our ex will come back. Unfortunately, the majority of us aren’t walking around in a Katherine Heigl romcom.
Having your heart broken is a terrible experience. After a break-up it takes time to move on. It takes time to get back to normal – back to your normal self and into a new routine. If you’re anything like me, as soon as you’re feeling normal again, as soon as you’ve settled into a new routine, as soon as you truly believe you’ll be fine without them, they’ll come back. So, if you have or ever will find yourself starring in your own movie, here are the five stages you’ll go through when an ex who broke your heart wants you back.
1. “Please go fuck yourself.”
This is the first phrase that will enter your mind when he says he “misses you”. You’ll do what you’ve done every other time he’s contacted you. You’ll tell him you don’t want to talk. You’ll tell him you don’t want to see him. You’ll tell him you don’t need your hairdryer back from his place. You’ll tell him that you’re fine. You’ll want to tell him to go to hell in every way possible. You’ll want him to know how great things are for you without him around. You’ll start to shut down the conversation. But this time, for whatever reason, you’ll leave the door cracked open…
2. “Well, I guess I should hear him out.”
You’ll hear him out because you’re interested. You’re interested in what he has to say. Has he changed? He’ll say he regrets everything. He’ll say he regrets running away. He’ll say he wasn’t ready for the commitment before. He’ll say that he’s realized you’re what he wants. He’ll say that while he’s happy, he was happiest with you. He’ll say you’re all that he wants. He’ll say he’s ready. He’ll say everything you want to hear. Everything you’ve wanted to hear for a long time.
3. “How will I explain this to everyone?”
You’ll get ahead of yourself and begin to picture your life with him again. But there’ll be a roadblock. How do you tell your friends and family – the people who were there when things were so tough during the breakup – you’re going to give this another go? You’ll tell your mom or your best friend that he’s resurfaced. They’ll be hesitant. They’ll tell you to be careful. You’ll hear the nerves in their voice. You’ll know that they mean well, they are just scared for you. Sure, you’d love more than anyone to say adios to this guy, but for some reason your heart and your head can’t communicate. Your head is telling you to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction and your heart is shutting down the entire operation and telling you to run into his arms.
4. “Why am I still in love with him?”
You’ll realize that as much as you’ve told yourself that you’re over him, you’re not. You’ll realize that seeing his name pop up on your phone still gives you butterflies. You’ll realize that you still fit perfectly under his arm as you lay in bed. You’ll realize that he still makes you laugh harder than anyone you’ve ever met. You’ll realize that he’s your best friend. You’ll realize that you will always love him.
5. “I’m so happy… and terrified”
Once you decide to try again you’ll feel a perfect mixture of elation and fear. You’ll be so incredibly happy and at the same time incredibly scared. Can you trust this person again? What happens when things get difficult again? You’ll still wonder if you’re doing the right thing. But deep down, you’ll know that even if you end up broken-hearted again in two weeks – at least you tried. You’ll never have to wonder “what if?”. You won’t know if you can trust him, but you want to… so you’re just going to try. You’ll still be in love with this person in ways you don’t even truly understand. You’ll wish you could be mad and hold him at a distance, but you won’t be able to. You won’t be able to guarantee that there won’t be tough times. You won’t be able to guarantee that it will always be perfect. But you will be able to guarantee that if you don’t try again you’ll both regret it for the rest of your lives.
The perfect combination of elation and fear. But isn’t that what life is all about? Facing our fears and realizing how great something can be?