There will be days when you feel like the world is caving in on you. When every bit of you is imploding from pain that you didn’t even know you were hoarding. When nothing makes the kind of sense it did just a while ago.
There will be days when the hot white ball of confusion and fear and apathy and exhaustion will want to take over and drive you around. When carrying logic will be the roughest uphill climb.
There will be days when your life is choking in your throat, afraid of the war that will entail if it slips onto your tongue. When your breath is kneaded into the weight of the world pressed against your chest. When speaking and breathing will be the hardest things to do.
There will be days you wish it were someone else, anyone but you, whom this darkness chose to climb into bed with. When you can sense the demons that live behind your eyelids, awaiting to come alive as you shut them.
On those days, when the tears don’t stop and the sleep does not arrive, when lightning strikes and rips into your life, please remember this: You are going to make it through.
I promise you it’s alright to not know how to navigate this in-between. It’s alright to have more questions than answers, more fears than certainty, more worries than faith. It’s alright to feel stuck, to feel broken, to feel as though you should be doing better and knowing more. It doesn’t mean that you should be doing better or knowing more.
The truth is that there will be days when all you can do is bear witness to this world. Let yourself lean into the icky vulnerability of moments where you have to sit with the not knowing. It will not take away or ruin anything.
You do not have to engage, solve, heal, become or learn right now. You are allowed to unravel this day one staggered breath at a time. All you have to do is get through, no matter how you do it.
There will be better days. When you are ready, there will be answers. There will be revelations. There will be light and sweet words and deep breaths.
Let this storm pass. You are birthing wildflowers.