What if I told you that 2020 could really be your year? It can.
But you need to remember that our best years are created one day at a time, one action at a time. We don’t just arrive where we want to, we work towards it in small steps each day. Life doesn’t happen to us, we create what it is with deliberate choices.
What we decide to show up for and decide to not engage with will determine the quality of our year more than anything else. If you are committed to creating the year of your dreams, here are 11 bad choices most of us make that you want to leave behind while building your year.
1. Delaying doctor’s appointments.
Most of us hate doctor’s offices. We don’t want to go in there and be diagnosed with who knows what. But doing whatever you can to understand your body better and look after it is a part of your self-care promise. Make that appointment you’ve been delaying and show up for yourself.
2. Waiting on people to change their minds about you.
People are allowed to think what they want about you. They are also allowed to never think of you the way you want them to. Don’t hold your breath and wait for them to think differently. All you can do is be the best you can be and give your best to those who you think appreciate it.
3. Assuming someone will grow to feel for you how you do for them.
There will be relationships where people will never feel the same way you do for them. Time won’t change it. There is a chance nothing will. Don’t assume that just because you feel a certain way right now that the other person will too at some point. Allow every relationship to exist as it is and respect its reality.
4. Spending money you don’t have.
If you don’t have the money, don’t commit to plans. Don’t book tickets. Don’t say you’ll turn up, hoping that you’ll earn enough to travel across the country by then. Spend money that you do have. Make plans that fit your bank balance. That’s not boring, it’s smart.
5. Numbing yourself using work.
None of our brains are at their optimal levels all the time. You need rest. Choosing to not give yourself needed downtime does not make you faster, it’ll slow you down. When you begin to work without a pause, it’s less love for what you do and more a way to keep busy from dealing with things you don’t want to. If you love what you do, promise yourself that you will honor that love by giving it a healthy amount of distance.
6. Forcing yourself to read a book you just cannot seem to.
If you have been trying to read a book for a couple of weeks but cannot get past the first chapter, that’s a sign. Forcing yourself to read a book that you are just not able to at the moment is not a testament to your willpower, it’s only a way to drain yourself. We each take to different genres and types of storytelling according to the brain spaces we are in. Put that book down and pick something that works for where you are at.
7. Forcing yourself to follow a morning routine that doesn’t work for you.
Not all of us need to wake up, meditate, and work out. Don’t buy into what you read online and what someone else’s routine is like. Find out what you need, what works for your body, mind, and life, and build a structure to your day with that.
8. Not trusting yourself.
The most cruel thing you can do to your brain is to constantly keep doubting it. It cripples you from moving forward. Trusting yourself does not always mean that you are going to make the right decision. It means that you trust yourself to know you’ve learned from your past and can handle however life pans out in the future. Trust yourself enough to allow yourself to make decisions and keep moving.
9. Not allowing yourself to change your thoughts, opinions, and plans.
You are allowed to change your mind about things. You are allowed to change your plans, no matter how elaborate or well thought out they were. You are allowed to tweak how you live based on your experiences. No other way would be true to you.
10. Assuming that the best things have to be earned the hard way.
The best things aren’t always earned after walking a perilous path. Sometimes, the best things aren’t even earned. They just are, or they arrive unexpectedly. When you have a good thing, don’t doubt it. Don’t worry about whether you earned it. Accept it, love it, and let it stay.
11. Not giving your all to something you truly want.
If you want something, find a way to get it. Be it a job or learning a new skill or moving countries, make it happen for yourself. There is always a way to do that. In fact, there will be many. Find one and commit to it. Choose it every single day and work towards it. If you want it, work for it with all you’ve got.