Over the past year, I’ve learnt that loving yourself means so much more than talking to yourself with goodness or repeating positive affirmations when you are down.
Loving yourself means actively participating in every sphere of your life. It means nurturing your mind, your body, your relations, and your work. It means knowing yourself deeply and wholly. It means knowing what’s good for you and making those choices every day.
Here’s are some of the most important things I’ve learnt from 2019 about loving myself:
1. The cornerstone of self-love is being able to trust yourself.
2. Being able to see someone and letting them know that you do is the greatest gift you can give them. Lead by example.
3. There are more people who see you and care for you than you realize at any given moment.
4. It’s important to let people in and ask for help when you need it. Allow people who love you to show up for you.
5. Good bonds remain. No amount of time or distance can eat through a solid, honest, pure connection between two people. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
6. People who aren’t honest with themselves and brave with their lives can bring you down if you aren’t careful.
7. Spaces are made of people, locations, and activities. Create the spaces you want to be a part of. Change your spaces as often as you need to. It’s a proven way to stay focused and present in your life.
8. There are a lot of different ways of numbing and running away. Stuffing your life with people and work is one of them. Always leave some empty spaces so you have room to breathe and grow.
9. It’s okay to want a partner who will look after you in some ways. You are allowed to want to be picked up when you are defeated.
10. The most important part of being able to heal from your pain is undoing the shame that keeps your truth locked up.
11. Learn to tell the difference between your feelings, your thoughts, and reality. Learn to identify your feelings and trace them back to your thoughts. Separate your thoughts from reality and your mind from who you are. Make this practice a reflex.
12. Your brain is not your enemy. It’s your best friend. Treat it with love and watch how your kind relation with it will make your life softer and easier.
13. Loving your body means feeding it without guilt. It means giving it water and nutrition. It means moving it without punishing it. It means accepting that it may be a little broken but it’s still powerful. It means that the least important thing about it is how it looks.
14. Nobody knows you better than you. Learn to listen to your mind, your body, and your inner voice. Honor them.
15. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get where you want to. What matters is that you keep doing your bit to build each day.
16. It is a beautiful and vital thing to show up – for people, for your work, for your craft, for adventure, for your routine. It’s the building block of everything big.
17. The art of consciously creating your life choice by choice, day by day, is a priceless practice. Keep clearing space and moving through life by choosing action.
18. Not everyone will understand your work. Appreciate those who respect you — you don’t need to hold space for those who don’t.
19. Things can fully change from day to day, even from moment to moment. You never know what the next moment will bring. Hold space for surprises and let them arrive.