People walk in and out of our lives for so many reasons. There are times they don’t tell us what their reasons are, but it does not always mean that it’s because of something we did. If you are searching for answers as to why someone you loved left without notice, please know that not everyone leaves you because of you.
People walk out when you remind them of a part of their story that is too painful for them to look at. Sometimes we enter people’s lives in a bad chapter. Not everyone likes to keep the entire story. Some people abandon chapters where life didn’t pan out well for them. Along with it, they force themselves to let go of good people. Sometimes we are good people in bad chapters of someone else’s life.
People fade away when they are caught up in the daily workings of their lives. They forget to look at those who got them through, at those who hold a light for them no matter where they are, at those who choose to love them even in their absence. Loving someone is never a sign of weakness. Loving them even after they stop picking your calls and responding to your texts does not make you desperate. But remember that you are allowed to stop trying to make someone a part of your life when they don’t show you that you are a part of theirs too.
People shut you out because they’d rather you forgot them than saw parts of them that aren’t pretty. Sometimes their flaws crawl out of their hidden closets and rest on their body in plain sight. They don’t want you to know that they can’t say kind words. That they feel guilt so overwhelming that it buries their light. They don’t like these exposed pieces of their pain and apathy and are afraid you won’t like these parts of them either.
People vanish when there is so much on their plate and they don’t know how to think of what isn’t in front of them. When they’re covered in bills stamped overdue. When reminders of deadlines choke their inbox. When their hurting limbs and brain constantly steal their attention. Sometimes people forget what a healthy body, mind, and life feel like. And along with that, their ability to hold you disappears like the healthiest breath of fresh air they no longer feel they deserve.
People leave when they’ve changed too much from who they used to be. When they neither have the courage to take the chance of letting you down nor the strength to risk you letting them down. They’d rather stop talking to you than show you who they are all over again. They’d rather think of you as static so you fit with the story they tell themselves. They don’t realize that all people grow, and along with them, their dynamic relationships can evolve.
Allow them to leave because sometimes letting go of someone is the greatest gift you can give both them and yourself.
People walk out in shame. They walk out in fear. They run away. They hide. They aren’t always brave enough to give you the answers you deserve. Allow them to leave because sometimes letting go of someone is the greatest gift you can give both them and yourself.
Remember that you are not defined by the people who leave you, but by the ones who choose to stay.