Life Is A Little Quieter Since You Let Me Go

I’m moving through life a little bit quieter today. I’m giving myself time and space to hurt.

I’m moving through life a little bit quieter today. I don’t drown out the thoughts with noise, yet I listen to them in the silence.

I’m moving through life a little bit quieter today and respecting the fact that I’m not okay- that I’m numb, lost, confused and alone.

I’m moving through life a little bit quieter today because I don’t know what else to do. Yesterday I screamed, I sobbed, I thought about hurting myself, I spoke, I stared, I hurt.

Today I’m a little quieter. I can’t fix him, but I can eventually fix me. I can’t fix him, but I can eventually make me feel better. I can’t fix him, but I can maybe lessen my pain… only if I want to and honestly, right now I don’t. I in no way want to make myself okay.

I’m living life a little bit quieter. Honestly, I’m not even living life, I’m just moving along, taking breaths to continue, although I’m drowning underwater. I’m drowning with no life vest. I’m drowning, I’m drowning in these thoughts of us. I’m drowning thinking about you. I’m drowning not knowing what to do or how to make things better.

I want to be enough. I want to save a life and I know to save someone else’s I need to save my own. But, I don’t want to save my own. In any way or form. I don’t want to be a survivor.

I’m moving through life a little bit quieter today.

It’s just so strange to me… I wanted to be the exception… your rock… someone that could save you. But you let me go and now I’ll always wish for more.

I’m moving through life a little bit quieter today.