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I Am Slowly Learning What It Means To Feel Deeply

I am slowly learning what it means to feel deeply.

I am slowly learning what it means to have a heart that feels deeply, to have a heart that crashes hard into the quiet whispers of those I cherish most. I am slowly learning what it means to have a heart that sings while nurtures the cracks within the skeletons that lie entwined inside the flesh of others. I am slowly learning what it means to have a heart that often falls for the kinds of souls who do not always know how to take care of it, who squeeze it with messy fingertips and who do not deserve the love it is made up of, who do not always deserve to feel the kind of magic that spills out from within. I am slowly learning what it means to have a heart that connects, a heart that simply understands the way in which the weight of the world can sometimes feels too much and can become too heavy to keep holding onto. I am slowly learning what it means to have a heart that is sensitive, a heart that wants to be chosen, a heart that wants to be seen, a heart that just sometimes needs to be heard. I am slowly learning what it means to have a heart that chooses depth over surface level, over what appears to be only black or white, a heart that chooses tenderness over apprehension. I am slowly learning what it means to have a heart that loves and that cares and sometimes over-loves and over-cares.

I am slowly learning what it means to feel deeply.

I am slowly learning what it means to have a soul that fights to be with certain people, a soul that tends to try and soften the wounds that lie deep inside the hearts of others. I am slowly learning what it means to have a soul that jumps at the chance to help another person feel seen, a chance to help them feel appreciated and needed in a world that will often try to tell them otherwise. I am slowly learning what it means to have a soul that often falls for the potential as opposed to what is, a soul that struggles to lay down what has already burnt out, a soul that often continues to water and to nourish what has already wilted in the hopes it may bloom again. I am slowly learning what it means to have a soul that crumbles at the harsh words from others as they wrap around like tangled strings, engulfing me in a sea of discomfort. I am slowly learning what it means to have a soul that nestles deeply into the ribcage of that one person who has the ability to both destroy and piece together the scars that are embedded deep within my bones. I am slowly learning what it means to have a soul that chooses love, a soul that chooses to embody the kind of happiness that is made from the small things in life, the precious things, the things that dance and that leave dustings of magic and peace in its path.

Mostly, I am slowly learning what it means to have a heart and soul that is unique, that is both beautiful and painful. I am learning what it means to have a heart and soul that is slowly coming to terms with the ways in which choosing to walk away from the people and the situations that hold weight is growth—it is a courageous choice to make. I am slowly learning that the process of choosing yourself, of setting those boundaries and protecting your energy is a precious and necessary thing.

I am slowly learning what it means to feel deeply, and I am learning that it is simply beautiful.

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