1. You spiral into such a state of self-obsession after posting a photo that there is an undeniable need to check your phone every two seconds just to see how many likes you have

2. You’re not sure of the purpose of going out to dinner if you don’t Instagram your dessert. And who cares about eating cold meals? Just as long as it’s angled well and your picture reaches over 30 likes

3. You print-screen a selfie with numerous filters over it, and genuinely spend a good fifteen minutes of your life contemplating which filter is more flattering for your skin

4. The reason you threw out your Blackberry for a smartphone is just so you can have the app, and to take endless flawless selfies and live happily ever after

5. If your photo doesn’t reach a double digits of like, you feel life has failed you and delete the photo immediately

6. You become highly judgemental of filter choices. For example, Kelvin with a frame. And she hashtagged like for a like?!

7. You become overly cautious of who’s following you. You feel personally victimised if someone unfollows you.

8. You simply can’t follow more people than are following you – talk about social suicide!

9. You find yourself searching for ‘kooky’ things around the house to take photos of, as it’s been three days since your last post, and your life is starting to look a little dull

10. You only post photos at ‘prime Instagram time’. Forget early Sunday mornings – who would be awake to like them?

11. It’s not a Starbucks trip unless there’s photo evidence of your coffee.

12. When your photo ‘fails’ for the second time in a row you want to scream and go into a state of panic.

13. You’ve found yourself at 2 a.m. accidentally liking someone’s picture they posted 48 weeks ago (we’ve all done it)!

14. You’re considering getting a puppy just to add a layer of cuteness to your profile.

15. You only go to places so you can take photos there. Forget actually having a nice time anymore – how do I look?