This Is How To Be Friends With The Girl You Just Dumped

easy: don’t. don’t even think about it. don’t think about what makes you a good guy. don’t think about what your friends will think. don’t think about ‘how it will look’. how it looks is that you’re not prepared to close the book on a sure thing, so stop insisting.

understand that whilst your feelings have changed, hers might not have. when she asks for space, give it to her. when, after only two weeks, she says she’s ready to be your friend, tell her that she isn’t. stop texting her all the time. stop telling her about your day. stop asking her for advice about girls. stop asking her for advice about anything. stop trying to be her friend. stop forcing her to be your friend. please stop making her feel crazy for not wanting a friendship with you. stop saying she’s irrational. stop saying what she’s asking is bizarre. stop saying you didn’t mean it like that if you did. stop fighting with her. stop assuming she is still the same person she was when she was with you. stop assuming you’re still the same person you were when she was with you. she doesn’t see you that way anymore.

stop being offended when she deletes you on snapchat or unfollows you on instagram. stop thinking that it’s childish. stop telling your friends how childish it is. stop saying things like “i thought we had a better friendship than this”. stop sounding like a fucking douchebag.

stop calling her. stop liking her photos on instagram. stop asking her friends how she’s doing. stop wondering why she’s not calling back. stop showing up in her dreams. stop thinking she’s had enough time. she’ll decide when she’s had enough time. stop acting like it’s normal to be friends with your exes. there is no ‘normal’ in breakups. she’s doing what’s best for her. stop questioning that.

stop trying to ‘be there for her’. stop telling her friends you’re ready when she’s ready. stop trying to ‘save’ her. you shattered her. you do not get to be the hero that puts her back together.

stop ignoring the fact that she’s ignoring you. stop being exasperated at her ‘immaturity’. stop saying what a shame it is. stop raving about the great hypothetical friendship you had hoped for.

stop texting. stop calling. stop trying to push your life into hers. stop existing in her world.

disappear. do this one thing for her. disappear. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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