1. How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Admit it, you are the Grinch. The Grinch is your spirit animal. There is very little about this movie and his persona that you don’t identify with.
The only thing that makes classic stories like A Christmas Carol better is when they are translated into modern-day comedies and star people like Bill Murray. Yes, you know that he is eventually going to learn the error of his ways and become good again, but you can at least revel in his meanness while it lasts.
3. ‘Twas The Night
It’s a corny Disney Channel movie starring Walter White. Come on.
4. Die Hard
If you don’t consider Die Hard to be a Christmas movie, I don’t consider you a friend. The best Christmas movies are the ones that contain excessive explosions, machine guns, and gruesome deaths. (Not to mention Alan Rickman)
5. Bad Santa
The ultimate single person movie, not even counting its holiday theme. Billy Bob Thornton’s magnum opus. If this movie doesn’t immediately make you feel better about yourself and your place in life, you’ll probably never be happy.
6. The Nightmare Before Christmas
Is it a Halloween movie? Is it a Christmas movie? Can’t it be both?
7. Jack Frost
It’s a B-movie about a mutant killer snowman. It’s half horror film, half comedy. It is extremely 90s. That video is the entire film, by the way. Enjoy yourself.
8. A Christmas Story
THE BEST EVER.
9. It’s A Wonderful Life
Ok, yes, this is a feel-good movie about a family man. But, come on, you need at least one ‘traditional’ story. And you can’t go wrong with this one.
10. A Charlie Brown Christmas
There is truly nothing not to like about this movie, and nothing that makes you feel bad for being single. (In fact, given some of the terrible relationships between the boys and the girls, you might be grateful not to have someone to pull a football out from underneath you.)
11. The Polar Express
The point is to get high and/or drunk and watch this movie with your friends so you can collectively make fun of the incredibly creepy animation. It’s an event all in itself.
12. The Muppet Christmas Carol
It’s the Muppets, come on. You can’t go wrong with a classic story acted out by the dolls that you loved back before you even realized that “being single during the holidays” was a thing you would one day have to deal with. It’s pure nostalgia.
Yes, there is a love story. But the majority of this movie is about watching Will Ferrel at his best, enjoying the charming references to classic Christmas films, and simultaneously cringing and being jealous when Buddy makes his own food entirely out of candy and syrup. It’s hilarious, even if it does end in a kiss.