People told me that anorexia was a white girl disease. Only someone so narcissistic and privileged as a white girl would starve themselves for some twisted form of pleasure.
Blame the problem on society, your mother, your dance teacher, the magazines, Barbie. Victimize yourself, because your physical appearance and self-esteem are the greatest challenges in your life.
Forget war, fuck the starving African children, you just want to be thin. You just want to be beautiful. Desirable, even. Make everyone jealous of your wraithlike frame, from overstuffed middle-aged women past their prime, to that bitch Tiffany who bangs all the hot guys.
Just remember that when you try to open up to people or reach out for help (which is the hardest part, control is everything to you), just remember that they will, on some level, scoff and think, “Of course, this is just like them. What an attention whore. What a white girl.” You will never be able to be open about the battles that you fought, even if they were a white girl’s battles, you self-absorbed bitch. Wow, that’s so hard, eating a PBJ. Tell that to all the children in Syria. But shit, you’re so brave for eating that Easy Mac.
The truth is, anorexia fucks you up. Not only are you dealing with the mental, emotional, and physical issues of the illness, but you are also experiencing societal disgrace, effectively turning you into a pariah. No one will take your pain seriously, as shallow and insignificant as it might seem to them. No one will realize that the life you live is not a choice, but a way of thinking.That even though they mean well, people will say all the wrong things and make recovery so much worse. That breaking the chains around your relationship with food and control is only the first step in addressing the root cause of your disease.
Yes, there are more important things going on in this world. Yes, there are people that are starving while you refuse to eat for a myriad of unhealthy reasons. Yes, eating disorders may not outrank genocide or natural disasters on the list of priorities for the world. But make no mistake: mental health is and always will be an important issue that needs to be treated with complete sincerity and whole-hearted attention. Anorexia is a life-threatening illness that deserves to be taken seriously and treated with high standards of health care just like any other illness. Anorexia affects people of all ages, genders, races, and ethnic groups.
It ain’t just a damn white girl disease.