“You are giving him exactly what he wants,” said my best friend as were leaving the festival.
She was exactly right.
I was a master at playing his games. I had been chasing him for months, and the more he kept hurting me, the more I wanted him. The way he looked into my eyes made me go weak in the knees, and it finally happened: I kissed the boy who had given me the most emotional pain I had ever felt in my years of being on this Earth.
The next morning I woke up to find the typical sweet “I love you with all my heart” text. My heart dropped (in a good way) and it felt so good to know that someone loved me for who I was. It continued for a bit, and then came the day where the texts read:
“I just needed to fuck with someone.”
“I don’t love you and this stuff happens, ya know?”
No, I don’t know.
For all the girls out there who have found themselves in this situation, I can agree with you that it’s not the best. Love has a way to sweep us off our feet. Although everything may seem okay in the moment, we tend to overlook the red flags. We often do not understand and start to wonder, “Why did he do this? Am I not good enough?” Trust me, honey, you are fine. Here is what I have learned from my past experiences.
1. Don’t lose yourself chasing after this idiot
Don’t follow my poor example and chase the kid. You will find yourself lost, and it just turns into a repeating cycle. It will turn into his game that he constantly wins simply because you are letting him. He is not worth your time if you have to go and beg for his attention. Attention is never something you have to beg for in a relationship. They like knowing that they have someone chasing them so that if something doesn’t work out for them, they can just come back to you whenever they want and leave you again. If he blocked you on Snapchat, don’t slide into his Instagram DMs and beg for more. Make him chase you. Post those sexy Instagram pictures, walk in everywhere like you own the place, and most importantly, BE YOU.
2. Make him lose at his own game
Another big mistake that I made was letting him win the game he was playing with me. I have good news for you: it’s actually pretty easy to make him lose. It’s simple: just don’t care. You need to show him that you are not a toy that is just free for him to play with. He tries messing with you? Show him you have moved on and that you are looking for someone that is going to appreciate your worth. You are doing yourself a favor ignoring this person and waiting for the right guy, because believe it or not, he’s out there!
3. Listen to your friends
I made the poor choice of not listening to mine when they warned me not to talk to him. Boys that play girls are known to have bad reputations, and the closer you are to them, the more you can see it. If you know this boy has played with other girls and your friends are trying to give you a warning, listen to them. Again, my best friend tried warning me, and in the beginning I thought I was proving her wrong when he kissed me and said that he “loved” me. In the end, she was able to come up to me and say, “I told you so,” and I was the one who looked stupid in front of everyone. Bottom line is that most of your friends will be there with you until the end and boys just come and go.
You are beautiful, kind, smart, gentle, and don’t deserve any of this. We can take these experiences and learn from them for the next time. He did you a favor by showing you his true colors. In the end, this boy will want you back, but now you are unstoppable. He played you, but guess what? It’s his loss.