Self-ImprovementYour Twenties

The Truth Is, I Feel Like I’m Failing

The truth is, I feel like I’m failing.

I could list the things that I haven’t accomplished yet and the items that are growing dust on my swelling to-do list.

I could vent about how I really thought I’d be at 10-50k Instagram followers, but what does that even mean? Do followers really equal validity?

I could lament over having an almost-30 crisis when I thought I would be in such a different place than the one I’m in now. But what about the good things I never saw coming?

I could sulk about having no idea how to rise as a yoga teacher in a sea of teachers who are all already incredible. But why can’t I be incredible in my own right?

I could complain about how New York City is running me thin and how I’m tired of finding a path in the concrete jungle. But isn’t jumping into the jungle what made me stronger?

I could mourn the opportunities I’ve lost and the days I’ve wasted while I waited for the right moment to come. But doesn’t that mean that the real opportunities are still coming?

Yeah, the truth is that I feel like I’m failing.

There are a lot of buts, and I can surely see the flip side of any argument I make against myself.

Still, I once called my vulnerability my superpower, so I need to be vulnerable with you. I am not where I hoped I would be by now.

There’s something empowering about saying it out loud. There’s something motivating about writing it down. There’s something badass about embracing my own ugly truth.

There’s a heat in my heart that burning the lies I’ve been telling myself. There’s a weight lifted off my shoulder and a voice in my ear that’s saying, “finally.”

Maybe we sometimes need to admit our faults so we know just what we need to work on. Yes, we’re powerful. No, we’re not invincible. Yes, we’re capable. No, we’re not perfect.

Yes, we’re awesome just as we are, but no, we should not settle because some inspirational quote says so.

Yes, we can give ourselves permission to speak our truth even if it isn’t rainbows and glitter.

Yes, we’re allowed to be a work-in-progress that sometimes feels burnt out as we light the world on fire.

Yes, we might feel like we’re failing, but all that really means in that we’re growing. We’re healing.

So, happy rising, fellow dreamers. TC mark

Related

Writer & Yoga Teacher Living in NYC Follow Sonya on Instagram or read more articles from Sonya on Thought Catalog.