It’s been about three weeks since I’ve moved to New York City and I’ve only been on one date so far. This is mostly because I haven’t really been looking, had the time for dating apps, and because I have been focusing on catching up with old friends.
Still the dream of being another version, my version, of Carrie Bradshaw still lives within this romantic heart of mine. Needless to say, I’m now ready and looking.
My eyes are open and flirty waiting to make eye contact with a hot guy reading on the subway, standing in line to get coffee, or the one that lets me scoot in front of him to get a drink at the bar.
My smile is ready to say, “you’re cute, I’m cute, let’s date.” I’ll admit first hand I’m a little out of shape in the dating world, and in New York it’s much different than I’m used to.
I’m someone who could fall in love instantly, but it’s been rare in the places I used to call home. Here… Here I’m falling in love literally daily on the streets of New York City. So it’s intimidating.
Everyone looks like, sounds like, walks like, and talks like a great catch. Everyone is dating as if it’s ingrained in the culture of their uproarious lives.
It’s a lot to take in that all I can focus on for now is making sure my eyes are open and that I still remember to smile instead of awkwardly looking down and away.
I think if I can handle that I can get to the first date, and soon before you know it I’ll have a Mr. Big of my own and stories to fill the pages of my twenty-something life.
For now, I’m starting simple. I’m not thinking of finding my husband on Wall Street during lunch hour (although I’ve had the thought at least once). I’m only thinking about landing those first dates – naturally – to get back in the swing of things.
What does one wear, in New York City, to seem approachable? What can you do as a single girl to make yourself more natural and relaxed to elicit the type of response you’re ultimately hoping for?
Well, I’m new so bear with me. From my people-watching on benches, in the subway, and bar high tops I’ve come up with some key ways to present yourself to even get into the “hello” part:
1. Very minimal makeup.
Most women here really aren’t wearing pounds of foundation or false lashes. And they look beautiful without any makeup.
2. Wearing the color black.
I get it, it’s a cliché, but I swear I’ve seen more street performers than people wearing colors. Although summer is coming, so TBD.
3. Abolishing your heels.
I’m so used to my heels but they’re so unpractical here (brooding over a recent experience). It’s all about booties, ballet slippers, wedges if you’re pushing it, and sneakers with new laces.
4. Having a showpiece.
I haven’t seen much gaudy jewelry, but I’ve heard multiple stories about a jewelry piece. This might not be a New York thing per say, but I do think people are more willing to share their history here. Have yours on you.
5. Holding the right item.
This could be the right coffee cup, the right drink, the right book, the right grocery-store bag, or anything like that. Extra points if your nails are done too.
6. Your hair done without effort.
This half up half down hair bun is still all the rage and I kinda, sorta love it. Every girl’s hair looks relaxed and styled without looking like it took too much time to do.
7. Confident posture.
This is a big one. Stand tall, stand straight, and stand your ground. You have every reason in the world to be confident, and it’s the easiest way to show them that you don’t plan on settling.
Now, not to say that all the above is necessary, but it probably puts you into a good position to have a chance to giggle your way into a phone number situation. It might seem obvious but if it were all really that obvious none of us would be single now would we?
My next step is taking my own advice and seeing where it takes me. Maybe I’m far off, but I’m learning this city just as much as I’m learning me. So here’s to landing first dates until it’s the last date you ever need.