1. You delete or block each other off of social media, which shows how pathetic our society has become. In order to prove a point, in order for it to really hurt, you have to delete each other off of Facebook or Instagram. So childish, but it gets the message across. “You can’t be my friend in real life so you won’t know any details I reveal in my statuses, pictures, or comments.” We’ve all been there, but it sucks when it’s a friend you’re losing.
2. You tell all your other best friends what happened before your ex best friend gets the chance to twist the story. We all know if she was your best friend, chances are she’s also really good friends with your other friends too. You’ll see where loyalties lie when this happens. Typically, if your ex best friend was really in the wrong, your best friends are breaking up with her too. But if you’re being completely irrational, they’ll be the first to let you know.
3. You go through periods of hating her yet missing her tremendously because breaking up with your best friend is probably worse than breaking up with a boyfriend. How can you forget her and move on when she played such an important role in your life? She was there throughout the crazy underground parties, cheating ex boyfriends, underpaid jobs, and so much other bullshit; you could never replace her, but, at the same time, you really dislike her for whatever it was that brought the friendship to an end. You dislike her for not reaching out and giving it another try. You dislike her for not thinking this friendship was salvageable. You dislike her because you love her, and it’s hard to let go of the people you love.
4. You ask mutual friends how your ex best friend is doing, but attempt to do so in a nonchalant way so that it doesn’t look like it’s bothering you. A part of you wants to hear she’s miserable, that she’s been down ever since you guys stopped being friends. The other part of you, the good conscience, wants to hear that she is happier than ever and doing well. You even use your friends’ phones to creep on her social media to make sure she’s okay. You’re bitter, but she was always a good person, and you want to make sure that she isn’t giving herself out to lousy people. (If she isn’t going to be your best friend anymore, she better find a good replacement.)
5. You forgive her and yourself for the lack of communication, for the falling out, for the animosity. You replace those feelings of anger with feelings of love and appreciation for the good times you two had together. You no longer hold grudges because you understand that relationships are incredibly complicated, especially those with whom we become close with. Some of our closest friends stick around forever, but some have to go. And for whatever reason, that’s okay. We should be grateful we had the opportunity to laugh and cry and grow with them — for however long. A break-up with your best friend doesn’t signify a break in the love. It’s still there, always will be. It’s easier to let go when you’re appreciative of what the friendship once was — when you’re truly grateful for the time you had with them. No matter how much it hurts, an ex best friend will always remain a best friend in your heart.