Feeling Too Much Doesn’t Make Me Weak — It Makes Me Strong

Unsplash, Brooke Cagle
Unsplash, Brooke Cagle

Being aware of the vast
Spectrum of human emotions
Doesn’t make me weak,
It doesn’t make me inferior.
Instead, when I lay awake,
Contemplating the meaning of life
And how people love and leave,
I’m left with a startling realization
That I’ve now found solace in the feelings
I once ran away from and
I embrace them as I pull the blanket over me,
Cocooning myself in warmth. But there are,
Always, remnants of the cold seeping
Into my bones and I’ve learned to
Embrace that too. For what is love
Without a little hate and
What is courage without the underlying
Fear? As the clock hits 2Am, my body
begs me to sleep but my mind and heart
Have other ideas for they do not understand
The concept of time and priorities. They
Fail to work together and instead
Wage wars inside of me and although
It drains me out sometimes, I’ve come to
Realize that it always was this way and it
Might always be. I’ve learned to accept
What hurt me or what didn’t, and
I’ve learned to accept what most people don’t.
I’ve learned to see through people’s lies
And to tell them, with utmost confidence,
That their lies don’t baffle me because
I know they fear the truth, and I know
Their solace lies in their obliviousness.
But the hard part is when the people
Who fear feeling more than they want to
Tell me to feel less, too. So as I stay up past 2AM,
I count the times I’ve been told to not give too
Much or to say too much. I count the times
I’ve realized that I might as well be too
Overwhelming for people and that my
Words aren’t enough. And I realize, that their
Fear and their inability to feel as deeply as I do,
Reflects in all that they say. They don’t realize
That I revel in my pain just as much as I revel in
My joy. They fail to understand that it’s my
Choice to see what they refuse to. And as I
Will my mind and heart to be at peace, I
Wish I could tell the unfeeling-
You could wear your oblivion
Like an armor but
Don’t penalize me for
Shedding off mine. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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