Congressional Missed Connections

When Congress is in session, the Missed Connections section of Craigslist isn’t just for misunderstood subway glances and grocery clerk crushes.

You: Filibuster Brown.
Me: Shrinking junior member in the last row.

Your recitation of whole episodes of Murder She Wrote was brilliant. Didn’t want it to end but I fell asleep in hour 16 and when I woke up, you were gone. Email me, I want to hear what matters to you.

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??Senate Dining Room last week, you were eating with some old guys and you caught me looking at you, lol. Was that bow-tie for real? Dying to know.

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Getting our shoes shined together and I was coveting your tawny Fratellis. Wanted to talk about redistricting but you said that’s for behind closed doors. Can’t stop thinking about that.

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Me: Dashing salt and pepper Rep. yelling at an aide in the hallway.
You: Ravishing constituent on a tour of the chamber last Tuesday.

I’m not really that scary. Send a pic so I know it’s you.

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??Even though you were across the aisle, I caught your eye roll when the Speaker said “nay” to our bill. Just wanted to let you know you made my day. Compromise soon?

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Am I crazy or were you were looking right at me every time you said “two-party system?” If this sounds familiar, email and tell me I’m not crazy.

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??After Appropriations yesterday you jokingly proposed a “subcommittee to kill some brain cells.” Sounds more like a caucus to me. Where do I sign up? :)

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??Debated you on TV the other night and I can’t get your hair out of my mind. I was too shy to ask but I have to know who you see when you’re in the beltway. Is it Frances at the Ritz?  Put “Activist Judges” in the subject of the email so I know it’s you.

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??Scene: Barry’s SOU
Me: Wishing I was anywhere else
You: Laughing at something on your phone.

We made eye contact. I was wondering if you play Words With Friends.? Your move: MinorityWhippit

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?You met with me in your office last month, I was the one worried about losing my job. That smile looked like more than just glad-handing. Well I lost my job, but maybe I gained a friend (you)? It’s probably a shot in the dark if you’ll ever read this but my fingers are crossed anyway. Like you said, things have to start going my way sometime right? Let me know. TC mark

image – Images_of_Money

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  • steve

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  • http://twitter.com/geology_rocks Haley F

    So good. So so good.

  • Anonymous

    I declare this: hilarious!

  • Maedko

    This is amazing

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