I currently live in a house with 3 bedrooms, 2 married couples, and 1 me. (And the dog. Who is sometimes… okay, most of the time, my favorite).
What’s great about this is I, being the youngest at 22, and also being the only single one (and by single I don’t just mean “not wed to another”, I mean I’m reaching crazy dog lady status… See above comment about dog), I get to watch the relationships of the two couples unfold, and I get to learn from them. Here is what I’ve learned living as the 5th wheel with two married couples:
1. ‘Thank you’ is a powerful statement
As simple as it is, as repetitive or obvious as if may seem, this is probably one of the more important phrases in a relationship (and in general, really).
2. So is ‘I’m sorry’
I’m talking about a legitimate “I’m sorry”. Not the sarcastic one you use when you’re not really sorry but you’re tired of arguing and you know you’re right and just want to end the fight. These two little words go a long way.
*Note of caution- over use makes them less significant. Use it when it’s needed and when it’s meaningful*
3. Couples who do things together, actually do stay together
Yupp, all of those couples you see lifting together, or eating together, or whatever they do together probably actually will stay together. Share what you love to do and do what they love, because it will bring you closer. Sometimes you’ll love it too and sometimes you won’t, but at least you’ll get to do it together.
4. Appreciate the little things the other does
Making you an extra cup of coffee. Buying your favorite food. Making dinner for you. (*Doesn’t have to be food related, that’s just me) The little things show a lot.
5. It’s not a matter of timing
Five minutes together can sometimes be more meaningful than hours. Make the most of time you spend together, and actually spend it together, engaging with one another. *Texting each other while in the same room does not count*
6. The dishes are never completely done
And neither is the laundry. Don’t stress over it. Don’t fight over it.
7. Compromise. Both of you.
If only one person is bending over backwards, they’re eventually going to break. Meet in the middle or realize when you need to give in and let them have it their way. It’s a balance.
8. Quiet doesn’t mean weak
Sometimes it’s not how much you say or how loudly but what you’re saying. Pick you’re words wisely and listen to theirs.
9. Ask about each others day
It doesn’t have to be a sit down, drawn out conversations but find out little things that happened in their life. Or the big. Just talk. Be interested in each other’s lives.
10. Good relationships are out there
What I love the most is coming home to a daily reminder of how great a relationship can be, how it should be. It makes me realize when mine are less than great and why it’s not worth it.