1. She’ll remind you that you did, in fact, need that pizza at 2AM.
When you’re rounding the corner at 2AM, riding out the who-can-last-the-longest-at-the-library game and running out of stamina, pizza IS the answer. When is pizza not the answer? Not even just pizza, but the cheesy bread sticks are just as important. Adding a little carbohydrate in to your perfected study routine is exactly what you need to get you through the 500 notecards before your 10AM exam.
2. She’ll remind you that four months of college debauchery are worth the one week of pure academic hell.
No way in hell would you trade the memories that make up the past few months. The countless themed frat parties, girl’s nights, and kicking your rival college team’s ass (or at least winning the tailgate) are memories you’ll continue to #tbt on Instagram. We both know the embarrassing stories your roommates continue to tell about you when you were on your level probably won’t stop being crowd favorites till next semester.
3. She’ll remind you not to walk the last mile of the marathon.
You didn’t come all this way for nothing! You most certainly did not miss out on all the Half-Off Tuesdays and Thirsty Thursdays to kiss it all goodbye now. After treading through the long and hard semester, you must dig deep down inside of you, all the way to the motivation you had going in to the semester, before you opened the email of the first exam grade, and finish with that same motivation.
4. She’ll remind you that if you fail, you can still come home to holiday cookies and the smell of a fresh pine tree in your family room.
Even if you don’t get the 4.0 you were so destined to finish the semester with back in September, you tried. If you put in the work throughout the last four months, the grades will come. If the curve was not in your favor, pluck your eyebrows, hit the gym, up your shoe game, and you’ll get ’em next time, champ. After all, “C’s get degrees,” amirite or amirite? Probably not, but one class won’t actually be the death of you. Eat away your semester’s sorrows with mother’s cookies.
5. She’ll remind you that you already went over your data plan once this month.
The answers to your final exam aren’t being quoted in your unopened Snapchats, the captions on Instagram, sub-par Facebook statuses, or even trending tweets. Not only can your college bank account not afford to use up another extra gigabyte of data, but your previously calculated minimum grade needed on the final can’t afford another hour lost to the vortex that is social media.