1. You’re unavailable.
Honestly, between everything you have going on, even if it’s just that Netflix queue, you don’t have time to date, much less have a S.O.
2. You have no desire to.
Really though, why even? You are already great and every time you see one of those online *articles* boasting, “23 Reasons Why Dating at 23 is Prime” or “50 Ways to Take Tinder to the Next Level” you’re left completely uninspired.
3. You are fully aware that the institution of dating is a massive marketing ploy.
It is all meant to make you want that dish soap which apparently will not be as effective without someone to have sexy sudsy kitchen wars with.
4. You are focused.
Whether it is keeping your inner zen, getting into law school, or going for that account manager spot at work – you are in your zone, why crowd it with a plus one?
5. You are not ready to take the plunge.
Plunge where? EXACTLY! You might be all about leaping into the unknown, but when humans are involved sometimes neither crowd surfing nor some semi-sane person on Tinder is enticing. Guess what? You don’t have to play the field, or put yourself out there – if you’re happy as is, leave it be.
6. You are not cool with intimacy.
And probably for good reason (or no reason!), news flash: this does not mean you are a broken human in need of repair! It is perfectly okay to just not go there. Humans are weird, human contact is weirder – it really is not that weird to not get so weird.
7. Your prospects are dismal.
Sometimes with the milling around of humanity your surroundings end up being low in the relationship material department – which is seriously okay because of the above and also ~ s t a n d a r d s ~.
8. You like yourself too much to share with someone else.
Sure you’re willing to dollop some time here and there for your bestie, but come on, why should you even have a “better half” when you can just have all of yourself?