I am a born and raised Southern California (Orange County) woman who has had the displeasure of meeting (and sometimes dating) these all too common types of SoCal men. If you’re looking for old-fashioned romance you will hard-pressed to find any types of those here, unless you prefer a geeky looking lover who spends more time on his favorite video game than on his pick-up game; or a “sophisticated, magnificent gentleman” with a touch of narcissism. Sure I have met some gems, but sadly the majority were not at all even close. These are the five stereotypical 20-somethings I run into over and over again in Southern California.
1. The Attractive “Techie” Who Couldn’t Make It in Silicon Valley
Sexy, tall, manly, charismatic. These are all words to describe this late 20’s man. He is usually in a large, but hip city within Los Angeles, Orange County or San Diego.
This man is quite easy to spot in a crowd. He will constantly brag about how much money he makes and how he is “too cool” for Silicon Valley, always reminding you that a “big start-up” from Silicon Valley begged him to work for them but he denied. When he’s not bragging about his job or income he will be doing another form of bragging that makes him such an easy stereotype to notice. He won’t have any time to ask about you because he’s too busy talking about how he is on the road to becoming a self-made billionare by the time he’s 32. Riiight.
An arm-candy type woman is always on his arm wherever he goes. These women unfortunately believe he is actually smarter and richer than he is. They will pretend to be interested in him but will squeeze him dry. Ladies, don’t become one of these women just to land this type of guy. Move to Northern California and get yourself a REAL Silicon Valley power player if you are a money hungry gold-digger.
2. The Pretentious Hipster
Need I even say more? You know he hangs out in Silver Lake/Los Feliz and doesn’t dare venture away from the Eastside. He will claim Silver Lake is the “hippest place in California” and that San Francisco wishes they had as much cred as his beloved LA city.
If he hasn’t accidentally hit your car with his stupid fixie in the crowded Trader Joe’s parking lot, then he’s probably inside the store elbowing you out of the way for the last jar of Trader Joe’s Brand Cookie Butter. Don’t you dare get in his way because hell hath no fury like a hipster angered. It isn’t like you just took the last case of PBR beer at the market, no, much worse.
Are you still interested in him despite all of his shortcomings? Well if you are then good luck. This Silver Lake dude is picky and will not date you if he suspects you’re into anything mainstream or if you’re not into the latest conspiracy theory. His apartment is probably right next to Griffith Park so you better be excited for 6am Saturday hikes followed by his personal guided tour of the Observatory for a couple of hours. Even though he was an English Major at San Francisco State, he will talk about the Observatory like he knows all about science.
In other words, he is the female version of a “basic b*tch” pretending to be different.
3. That Guy Who Claims To Be An “Actor”
This fellow will always talk about how he was the lead actor in all of his high school and college plays and was “scouted” by casting directors for a television show that never seemed to get picked up. In his mind he’s totally the next big thing since Ryan Gosling in “The Notebook”, even though you’ve seen a few of his acting skits on YouTube and he reeks of no talent.
There isn’t much else to him besides his constant peddling of his headshot to whatever agency will take it. Since he’s working a minimum wage job at a restaurant, he barely makes enough money for rent and car payments, so you have to help him out. This will mean getting up early to drive him to auditions all over town and then subsequently having to wait hours for him to have his turn to audition. Did you think he’d reimburse you for gas too? Ha that’s funny. Get used to being his chaffeur or at the very least, his company and support system at auditions he is underqualified for. This will likely last for years, or until he decides that being a thespian isn’t his calling and turns into “pretentious hipster” who used to be an “actor” as well.
4. Peter Pan aka The One Who Won’t Grow Up
Peter Pan still lives with his parents in their modest, middle-class home in a family neighborhood, likely in South Orange County, Northern San Diego or a modestly priced home in Ventura County since it’s “so quiet and away from that Hollywood nonsense”. Since he already has a nice home and gets money from his parents, he doesn’t see the need to work or go to school. Yeah he might be pushing 30 but you wouldn’t know it by the way he parties like a 21-year-old college student. Mom and dad fund his childish ways because they believe in new-age parenting that inevitably breeds entitled man-children (but shh don’t tell them that!).
If he does decide to get off his Playstation or online computer game then it’s probably because he’s dragging you to a bar for happy hour beers and free chips. It’s a cheap date and he doesn’t believe in spending money on anyone but himself because of his entitled, childish attitude. You might think his carefree attitude will be a walk in the park, but once he starts asking you for money or to drive him around because he got a DUI, then you’ll start to question what you ever saw in Peter Pan.
5. The Self-Proclaimed Alpha Male/Player
He will always be seen traveling with similarly attractive male friends and female groupies. Any city he chooses to live in must be opulent and status worthy. Even if he doesn’t make that much money he will pretend like he’s living large. That new Mercedes-Benz he’s leasing will get as much loving as his harem of surgically-enhanced women. Basically, this guy has to be seen as top dog wherever he goes.
You’ll be attracted to his muscles and rugged good looks like a moth to a flame. He is easily able to sweet-talk and charm you because that’s all part of his game. Alpha guy will have traits from most of the other stereotypes. He’ll be sort of smart like the techie, maybe even help you fix your broken laptop or name-drop a few people he knows from Silicon Valley (aka a few “hot nerds” he banged on his last vacation to the Bay Area). Also, he’ll have the nonchalant, nature-loving, casual traits of the hipster male; maybe you’ll even spot him shamelessly hitting on women at Griffith Park or Amoeba Music because he’s that “alpha”. With his good looks there is a strong likelihood he might also be like “actor guy”, constantly in search of stardom that’s always just out of his reach. The only type of guy he will never be is Peter Pan who he considers a “beta male” unworthy of attention from anyone. If you can get past his big ego and revolving door of women then you might have a shot at nailing this player down.
If you’re a single gal in Southern California keep an eye out for these type of men. Steer clear of them and try to find a good guy on OkCupid instead.