I am a fat girl. Always have been. I’m sure even when (if) I’m not, I’ll still have what I call “fat girl mentality.” And as a fat girl I have to admit that there are certain things nonfat people say to fat people that send my head reeling. So here is a list of things to NOT say to your overweight friend in the lunch room:
1. “No! Don’t have a bagel! Carbs are bad!”
Um… What? Did I ask you? Maybe you heard me say (once… 6 months ago) that I was trying to diet. How does that constitute you giving me unsolicited advice? Especially since I just saw you eat 3 cupcakes because you’re “PMSing”…. Oh, okay.
2. “All you have to do is drink water and eat healthy.”
Ohhhhhhh really? Thank you so much for clarifying that!
I’m sure that my horrible genetics, slow metabolism and lifelong-bad-habits are going to change overnight because you told me that I should drink more water and eat healthy. That’s definitely the first time I ever heard of that!
3. “You have such a beautiful face.”
Wow thanks! But please, next time compliment my jiggly arms and my thunder thighs. Because I KNOW you noticed those and not just my genetically beautiful and cosmetically (makeup) enhanced facial features.
4. “I feel sooo fat.”
This ones obvious right? If you are wearing a size 6 and I’m over here wearing a size 16, let’s not play the who feels fat game because I’m pretty sure I’m going to win.
5. “Oh, why are you having a protein shake? Who told you to do that? I don’t think you should do that, I think you should….”
Once again, unsolicited advice! First off the reason why I was having a shake at all is because I’m a vegetarian and prefer to get my protein from foods and nutrients rather than vitamins and pills. Second off, I didn’t ask you.
6. “I love your style but I actually think you would look better in…”
You mean I’m not allowed to wear trendy clothes like everyone else? Because I’m pretty sure my outfit is entirely made up of plus sized clothing and if they make it in my size I’m gonna wear it! And I’ll wear it better than you ever could.
7. “Why don’t you try smaller portions and eating every 3-4 hours?”
Breaking news! Thank you for that. It’s just really hard for me to convince my mind, after years of dieting and on-and-off attempts at starving my body, that eating all day long is a good thing. And I’ve tried it! Don’t get me wrong. It’s just another thing that’s easier said than done, and it’s coming from someone who has never had an overweight day in their lives.
8. “Do some fun exercise! If you find something fun that you love it won’t feel like you’re working out”
Tenth time I’ve heard that this week, but I have yet to wake up in the morning thinking “wow I can’t WAIT to exercise ever since I found that really fun workout”
9. “Have you gotten your thyroid checked?”
I really appreciate you feeling my pain and trying to get on the same page as me, but people ask me this all the time when they hear of my struggles with weight loss. The first fifteen times I heard this question it gave me false hope: “maybe there’s something medically wrong with me and once it’s figured out I’ll take medication and keep dieting and exercising and the pounds will come off!” But it turns out no, there’s nothing wrong with my thyroid, I’m just fat. But thanks!
10. “When’s your due date?” Or “are you pregnant??”
Seriously, go back to kindergarten and learn some manners if this has ever been you asking this question. There’s no reason to assume that someone is pregnant unless they have a huge 9 month belly and are holding “congrats on the baby” balloons. Additionally, I was once asked by a male friend if I was pregnant… The absolute most rude way you could ever express your concerns for someone gaining a little weight.
11. “Have you tried weight watchers/diet pills/Jenny Craig?”
Actually I just woke up this morning and realized I was fat and was hoping you could open my eyes to any weight loss products that I’ve never heard of before because I’ve been living under a rock.
Fabulous fat girl just living her life.