Time is precious. Why waste your time going out with someone you have no intentions of seeing afterwards? First dates tend to be awful, and blind dates even worse! *cough*Tinder*cough*. I’m nervous, he’s nervous or in some cases overly confident (enough for the both of us). If you’ve fallen out of the dating game for a while, there are a few things you should avoid doing on the first date and look out for in your potential partner.
1. Meeting at a bar
Bars are crowded and noisy. When on a first date you want to learn more about the person, it’s a little hard when the person next to you is yelling equally at loud at his date because he’s trying to talk over you. Don’t get me wrong, I think meeting for drinks is fine, however it should be at a bar/restaurant or somewhere that also serves. It’s hard not to feel obligated to order another drink when the waiter takes away your empty glass, you need something on the table! You don’t want to drink without some food in your system and get tipsy. spill the beans about how attractive you actually think they are (not time to stroke the ego yet!). As Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger always says “2 drink maximum!”
2. Talking about your Ex
Exes are always a touchy subject. They were such a big part of your life and now its all just history. Unfortunately, the topic usually comes up one way or another, often in some type of distaste. Other times, in a positive way, maybe a funny story that involved your ex. Either way, don’t bring it up! The last thing your potential partner wants to hear is you talking about your really awesome or really crazy ex. If you must tell a really funny story, I usually change “my ex” to “my friend” giving the story a neutral tone.
3. Monopolizing the conversation
This is probably the one reoccurring issue that I have with first dates. My date always spends 75 percent of the time talking about themselves. Sometimes I wonder if they know they are on a date with me, or they think they are on a date with themselves. Some people find it easier to talk about themselves, others find it easier to ask questions. If your date turns every question they ask you into a monologue about themselves, then don’t encourage them by asking more questions. Maybe they’ll realize eventually how they’ve been dominating the conversation… maybe not.
4. Using your cell phone
I know this is difficult in the prime of the technology era but it’s one of the biggest turn offs when my date pulls out their phone. Sometimes, its valid and they want to show me a photo of something they were referring to. However, I think its cuter they just text it to me later to try to spark a new conversation. The only time it is okay to pull out your phone on a date is when your date is in the bathroom and you are killing time. Don’t send a Snapchat or take a “selfie” while on the date (maybe after!).
5. Talking about the future
Whoa buddy, its only date number one. I’m still trying to decide if you are worthy of a date two- don’t start planning it yet! I can’t stand when my date automatically assumes that because they are having a good time, that there will necessarily be a second date. Bringing up the long term future is even worse! First dates are about getting to know the basics, feeling each other out, seeing if there is any potential. No one wants to talk about how many kids they want, or weekend getaways to the cabin just yet.