These are generally the words that I hear when I tell someone that I have been single throughout all the 19 years of my life. I did have two boys with whom I thought there could be possibility of love, to be my proclaimed lover with whom I could exchange the “we will be forever” teenagery promises, but none worked out whatsoever. I realized how stupid I was and it was time to give up on them. My friends joke about how I am going to die a virgin because it is my rule not to hook up with anyone unless I am in a relationship with him. At least, my first time should mean something! I used to get angry and depressed. I felt so lonely that I started finding flaws in myself. But here’s what I have realized. Here’s what we should know.
It’s okay to be a mess. It’s okay to be alone.
It’s okay not to have a Friday night blast! You have to realize that no one is going to come and fly underneath you, sweep you off the ground and save your life. You have to do your own saving. Love is about choices. But in spite of the best choices and best intentions, fate wins anyway. You will get whom you are supposed to get.
Don’t let that waiting decide your worth. You are far more worthy than you give yourself credit for. Work hard to bring your best to the surface. You may not know your best capabilities. Try everything you get. Every morning you have two choices. To ‘Carpe Diem’ or go on the same way you are now.
Make mistakes. This is your time and this is how you learn. You may be a bit short or a bit plump or you may have a scar and that is okay! Everyone isn’t the same. No matter how old this saying is but it is true, nobody is perfect! Get overdressed if that makes you happy. At the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. You cannot wait for someone to come along to make you fall in love with yourself and tell you that you are beautiful, his/her life, etc. Why can’t you do that for yourself? Why can’t you be your own lover? Why because people will call you a narcissist? Then let it be that way.
If you are happy and you know that you are not causing anyone any harm, then why not? And, I feel you can only understand the importance of it only, if you are lonely for sometime. Alone and lonely are two different states. Loneliness is not enchanting- but maybe sometimes we need it.
We need the space to know who we are. To love who we are. To accept who we are. Only then you will be able to stop waiting for someone and be independent. You have a long way to go and a great deal of time in your hands. Do what you wish to do and your “someone” will come along and everything will make sense eventually. You won’t be scared of losing yourself in case of a heartbreak because you know how to be alone.
And as Meredith Grey has said, “At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”
You know how to love yourself even when no one else did. You know how to make yourself happy.