The Truth About Living Alone

Living alone in today’s economy is like winning the lottery.

Correction, living alone in a metropolitan city is just like winning the lottery.

After years of living with ex friends, new friends, significant others and sometimes family, you have come to the strong realization that you would be far better off alone. It then becomes your dream to be in your own space where no one can steal the remote from you to watch their favourite asinine television show.

You find yourself on the hunt for days, nights, sometimes weeks, or even months in order to score a decent apartment that will allow enough space for you to go to the bathroom in private and hopefully (if you are really lucky), a space that also allows for your bed to be completely separate from your cooking zone.

When you finally find that 500 square foot apartment, you immediately have that sense of accomplishment, the idea of, “wow! I have arrived”. You gather your friends to help move you in with the promise of pizza and beer and, voila! You are now officially living on your own!

But now what?

You are here, all alone in your own space and quite frankly you yourself begin to space. All of a sudden you are in full control of the situation; you are grabbing hold of your own destiny! After you take a moment to let that sink in, you realize that it’s all a little overwhelming.

What are you going to do with all of your free time now that no one else is around?

Welcome to a fresh take on the real world.

Suddenly in your new found independence you begin to see things in a new light. Maybe you never really liked wearing clothes to bed, and now you can live freely, naked in all your glory. Or maybe you are one of those people who are far too lazy to grab a glass from the cupboard; in your mind it is more logical to drink the milk straight from the carton. DO IT! That’s your milk and no one else’s. This type of independence can only be earned after years of disciplining yourself to simply not do these things around your roommates.

This is only the beginning of all the fantastic epiphanies you are bound to have as you take on this journey of self-discovery. As you get to know the neighborhood around you, you begin to think of doing things you never would have imagined to before. Two blocks from your apartment is a trendy dance studio, perhaps one Saturday you will walk in and join a class. Regardless of the fact that taking up dance has never before crossed your mind.

You scope out the scene, being sure to locate all the necessary places. Police station, fire department, drug store and grocery store, if you can bag at least one of those in your neighborhood you’re gold.

Let’s not forget the bars that seem to be endless around you! You take great comfort in knowing that there IS a social circle that exists, you just need to grow the balls to enter that bar solo and let yourself be seen.

When you live on your own, you are calling all the shots. The décor is true to you and your style. Finally, walls covered with the movie posters from your college years have seen their last day. You decide whether or not you want company, if the heat should be turned up or down and, on occasion you will eat tuna straight from the can as no one will be around to criticize you for it! However, in all this euphoria you must also face the unsettling truth…being alone with all of those thoughts in your head and no sounding board could be your very own demise.

In the silence that surrounds you in your apartment are a million thoughts attacking you all at once.

If aspartame is so bad for you, why do advertisers tell me it is diet? And if its diet it must be better for you? Is it all a scam? Is it a government conspiracy?”

What did my boss really mean when she said ‘nice work’ after the meeting today? Was she mocking me? Is there something she knows that I do not? I think she is out to get me!”

I spend a lot of time in my PJ’s on Saturdays watching bad movies. Is this going to be what I do for my whole life? Am I pathetic?

This friends, is not good for business! The biggest con to living alone is dealing with your own thoughts 24/7 with no one to bounce those ridiculous thoughts off of. Of course you can call your friends, or share your entire life on Facebook for everyone’s opinion, but at some point the clock runs past midnight and it’s just you and the sheets. In order to maintain your sanity, you must find things to do with your time. Be sure to stay closely connected with your friends, and remind yourself constantly that you are being ridiculous and that three hours of reality TV will cure anyone’s insecurities.

The key to surviving the con of living alone is reminding yourself always of how much it took to get to this point and how accomplished you feel that you did it on your own!

Oh, and one more thing, if you hear a noise in the middle of the night, it MIGHT be a ghost…or it might just be your neighbor getting in late. Sleep soundly! TC mark

featured image – Flickr / Schristia

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