This Is What You Need To Remember About Healing

Noël Alva

I know you’re going through a rough time right now. Dealing with a heartbreak is painful. I know that some nights all the pain and hurt that you had been pushing away throughout the day just seems to take control over you. I know that there are probably hundreds of thoughts just racing in your mind. The questions of why, why and why don’t seem to have any answers. I don’t know your story. But I know one thing. You’re going to be okay. I promise you that.

I wish I could give you a three-step manual to heal. I wish there was an easier and quicker way to get out of it. I wish it was a lot simpler like they show in movies. But just a drink or a rebound won’t fix your heart.

Healing isn’t a quick fix remedy. Healing is a process. It takes time. Lots of time and patience with yourself.

It’s been over a year but I know I there are certain tiny parts of me that still need healing. Even then I know for a fact that I have come a long way from that day. And honestly? It’s only been a beautiful process. Yes, it’s painful, on most days it is. When you look back you will not remember those feelings of hurt, rejection, self-doubt but you will remember the journey and your journey will make you smile. Your journey will make you feel proud of yourself. There’s a purpose for this journey. You are not going to be the same person anymore. I promise you that. And if you are somewhere in the place that I am, still in the process, pat yourself on the back. You’ve been doing so great. Has anybody told you that lately?

The healing is all about self-discovery, self-love, and growth. You are going to learn so much. Lessons which you will keep with yourself for life. The outcome is going to be so beautiful I almost wish I could show you a glimpse of your happy smiles, chuckles, and laughter which is going to come your way. I wish I could show you how good it’s going to be although right now it almost seems impossible.

Like I said before there isn’t a three-step manual for this. But there are some things that I learned going through it all. First, be kind to yourself. Sometimes we are just so harsh on ourselves because we expect ourselves to be alright quickly but that doesn’t happen. Sometimes months go by when you’re feeling great but that one day comes when you feel like you’re back to square one. I know. I’ve been there. It’s okay. The only way to get through it is to go through it. Let yourself feel every emotion. During this time, love yourself and take care of yourself because you’ll soon realize that at the end of it all, it’s you who has to fight this battle in your mind and heart. Spend more alone, know who you are. Sometimes relationships can take you far away from who you truly are.

It’s time to return to yourself.

Do things that make you happy. Whether it is going out with your friends or buying yourself some flowers or just buying that ice-cream that you’ve been craving for. Little things matter. And when you do it for yourself, it will give you strength. I still remember that one day when I wore a cute outfit, did my hair, put on my favorite lipstick and just went out all by myself. I bought myself a rose and some cupcakes. I never thought I would be able to do that. But something changed that day. I felt the power I had within me. Power to be free and break this chain which was holding me back.

You probably don’t want to hear what I’m going to say next but I need to tell you this. Forgive them. Forgive them not because what they did to you is justified but do it for you. It’s not easy at all. I know I struggled for so many months with it. And I could only do with the grace of God. I remember just praying about my situation and every time God would ask me to forgive that person. At first, I didn’t understand it. How could I forgive someone who has put me in this place? How does that person even deserve forgiveness? Then I realized. Forgiveness is never about them. It’s only about you. When you forgive, you are no longer tied to them. You are no longer tied to what they did to you or what they said to you. So when you choose to forgive, you are set free from them. You will feel so liberated. You will feel like a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You won’t even remember the pain and hurt. The memories won’t hurt anymore, the songs won’t make you cringe anymore, hearing their name won’t bring a feeling of hatred anymore. It will help you heal. You’ll be at peace with your past. And then you can truly let go and move ahead in life. You can chase every little beautiful thing that has been waiting to just embrace you.

And this happiness, no one can take away from you.

Also, forgive yourself too. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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