To The Girls Who Are Obsessed With Finding Love

Tony Ciampa
Tony Ciampa

I have always been a hopeless romantic, since before I can even remember. The mere thought of love, of falling in love and finding someone who loves you back, hits me in all the right places. It consumes me. I’ve spent countless nights reading love poetry, quotes, and romance novels – wondering when I would ever find something like this.

I remember feeling so bad about myself, thinking something was wrong with me. Why won’t a man just fall in love with me?

I was so obsessed with the idea of love, and when it didn’t happen I was angry, depressed, and sad for a long time. It frustrated me to the point where I couldn’t focus on anything else.

But after spending a lot of time thinking about it, I finally made my peace with it. I realized that life is so much more than finding the right man for yourself. I’m 19 years old and my life has just begun. Right now I want to be a career and goal-oriented woman who doesn’t have to depend on a man to make her happy. So I decided to just be that woman. I decided to get my priorities right. I decided to work hard and to be something. To do something good. To be that woman. A woman who is inspiring and respectable.

I’m now an independent girl living in a new city and I realize there’s much to explore. I want to explore places, to explore music, to explore books and to explore minds. There are so many road trips I want to take with just my girlfriends, so many concerts I want to attend, and so many adventures I wish to go for. I want to get lost in the things that make me the happiest. And now is the time to do all of it. This time will never come back again, and I must do everything possible.

So you see, there’s so much more to look forward to in life. And all this while I have been centering my life on just one thing. But not anymore. I’ve decided to work on myself. To live. To truly live. To be happy and content with my own company. To be engaged in the world of everything good.

This does not mean I’ve given up on love or lost all hope. I strongly believe that true love exists and that someday a man is going to come and sweep me off my feet. I believe that someday I will experience everything that I have ever dreamed of and everything that I read about in those beautiful books. But that someday is not today. I now know that when the time is right and when my heart is ready for a commitment, God will gracefully send that person into my life.

So to all those hopeless romantics out there: do not spend your entire life looking for the perfect person for yourself. I am not asking you to give up hope, but to live a little for yourself.

Engage yourself in different activities. Go and do anything that you’ve always wanted to do. Always wanted to take Spanish classes? Go for it. Always wanted to learn the guitar? Go for it. Always wanted to learn how to bake? Go for it. Always wanted to learn painting? Go for it.

Go to a coffee shop alone and read a book. Go dance in the rain. Go to a club if you want to, sing out loud and dance until your feet hurt. Go window shopping with your best friend and try on all the clothes. Go pamper yourself with ice-cream treats or cakes. Go for a jog or a walk in the park. Admire the beautiful sunrises, sunsets, clouds, and chirping birds early morning; enjoy nature in general. Go star gazing and wonder about how gorgeous the universe is. Go on long drives by yourself and blast good music in your car. There is literally so much that you can do. Chase your dreams. Build a career for yourself. Be the person you’ve always wanted to be. Do anything and everything that gives you pure happiness. Stay connected to the things that make you happy. Now is the chance and time.

And while you are busy doing this? I promise you that love will eventually find you. And when it arrives it will engulf you into its arms and give you a warm hug. Until then, focus on yourself, find yourself and love yourself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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