Most of us have such busy schedules in the race for more money, promotions, and keeping a social circle to maintain our “image” that the boundary line between friends/acquaintances/colleagues starts fading. And that probably is not a great thing. When that happens, we don’t know who truly cares about us, and every gesture with a little affection is misinterpreted as something way bigger.
Also the person gesturing is making it to get something—they’re aware of the fact that you are buying their little grain of ‘love’ feeling you are getting a lifetime’s worth. So what happens when you have casual sex with a person who’s been part of your social circle or whom you’ve known for a little while and—even though you don’t want it—that person is your colleague!?
The first sexual encounter left you speechless—you had an orgasm after a long time, you loved that you both shared a little secret, you somehow felt like you had an edge over the other friends. But then after a point, you think—OK, what is happening? Probably you aren’t looking for a long-term thing, but you are always looking for true respect. Most casual sex relationships end up in a disaster when the two people involved are not on the same page—and mostly, they aren’t. Because the important part we miss out in this whole excitement of something new and wild is that if you both were on the same page, you probably would be in a relationship or just really good friends. But now you are neither. The worst is that you considered this person a friend and spent a good amount of your time with them, even if that time was shared with a bunch of friends. You got along and thought there was mutual respect because all the actions leaned towards respectful behavior. But now, many bouts of casual sex later, here are a few questions that most of us ask ourselves:
1) Does he/she respect me?
2) I am their friend, so why do they not want to take this to the next level?
3) Oh my god, did they ever respect me?
And then in a painful attempt to look like the cool person who is unaffected, we either shut ourselves or simply get passive aggressive. And well, just hope in addition to all that your “friend” isn’t your colleague, too!
Take your time if you REALLY want to date a friend and NEVER date a coworker, even if he/she is the most amazing person on this planet. Take this from a person who’s let herself been bitten not once, not twice, but thrice—and they were all my colleagues!