I may not be the queen of relationships, but from what I have learned through our society, has helped me gain better knowledge of how they are at least portrayed by others. Through research, I have found that these are the 5 leading mistakes we all make in relationships.
1) The Leaning Tower: People are not in your life to fulfill your every need. To many people rely on other people for happiness, encouragement, motivation. Oh you’re sad? Looks like someone is going to have to cheer you up, Oh you’re slacking? Well I guess someone needs to tell you to work harder. Oh you accomplished something? Looks like someone will have to pat you on the back. I mean, YES. It is nice to depend on someone else sometimes. BUT if you need someone to make you feel good then you need to stop and ask yourself, “Why can’t you make yourself feel good?”. Because this is how I see it: People should be bonuses to what already should be a great life, you created for yourself. In other words, people should not be a doctor you expect to fix and heal you after you tell them everything is wrong with you. No. People should be the lollipop you obtain after you get done with you Drs App. Because everyone is living their own life and they have their own challenges and it is unfair and unrealistic for you you expect other people to constantly fulfil your needs.
2) The Restriction: If you need to place restriction on someone in your life, something is wrong. There is no way you can justify that you have to place restrictions on your partner for them to remain loyal to you. Because here is a question, why would you want to be in that situation? Why would you want to be with someone who you cant trust in the first place? You can place any amount of restrictions on someone, but if someone wants to cheat on you.. they are going to cheat on you. The goal isn’t to put restrictions around someone so they don’t, the goal is to BE with someone that won’t. If you have to be one of those people on a runway with two flashing lights that state “this is how to be loyal”, you deserve someone better.
3) Drop It Like Its Hot: How many people do you think don’t see their friends anymore because their friends are in relationships? Hand around the world are going up, its like a lil jon song playing right now. In my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes someone makes when they’re in a relationship is when they make their partner their entire world and forget everyone else in their life like their friends and family. Now I understand that you’re SOO in LOVE, but it is VERY unrealistic for you to expect to experience all the wonderful things in life with just ONE person in one type of relationship. There is a reason we have different types of relationships in our life, DO NOT GET RID OF THEM. It is so important to have to have your own life, be yourself, and have your own space. Because when BAE pisses you off, who are you going to vent to, huh?
4) The Fake Start: We all know when we go our first date, we are not completely ourselves. We dress a little bit nicer than usual, we’re a little bit more polite, and we don’t act completely crazy. And that’s expected, that’s fine. But you know what you should not fake? Who you actually are! Have you ever been in a relationship and that after a while it’s like “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!”. I understand the need to impress someone in the beginning of a relationship but that doesn’t mean you have to be someone else. If you don’t agree with what I am saying, then I’d rather have you tell me you don’t agree with me. I mean, guys, if you’re going to be a cool, easy man on the first date, don’t be insecure on the sixth date- I was not prepared for that! And girls, don’t act like you have no emotions and you’re so cold hearted when on the third date you’re an emotional wreck! Hi, hello, we’re not playing baseball- do not throw curveballs at me. I mean in the real world, everyone has strengths and weaknesses, don’t try to be a people pleaser and try to be someone you’re not to try to get into a relationship.. thats not gonna end well. Know who you are and be proud of it. If a person doesn’t like who you are, its not meant to be. Why would you want to drag out a horrible situation that’s going to take place?
5) Likes Over Love: You know what the number one sign is of a healthy relationship? No signs of it on Facebook. When you get to the point where your relationship is all over social media, stop and ask yourself why? Because I feel like too many couples are validated by likes on Facebook and “aww” comments on Facebook. Getting 90 likes on a picture is not making you a suitable partner and doesn’t make me a loyal.