Because the truth is, as much as I love you, I love myself, too.
And you know I wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t for you. So, thank you for making me go deeper inside me to find reasons to love me while I knocked down my own walls to find myself.
Nevertheless, as much as I hate to admit, the truth is, I am waiting for you.
Trust me when I say I am ready to wait for you all my life—just like the way I have been.
And as much as the romantic in me is willing to keep loving you through the lonely nights of my coming life, I am realizing I should not.
I should not allow myself to love you when you haven’t given me the permission to do so.
While I don’t want you to rush in this journey until you feel one with your feelings, the truth is that I am falling for you harder and harder every day.
It really doesn’t matter if I share a cup of coffee on your side every day or not; the truth is, I am waking up every morning dreaming of fresh coffee you’d filter for me.
And when I open my eyes to this real world, I can’t help but look at myself in the mirror with pity.
With every passing moment, I am finding you become more and more a part of me. I don’t even know if it’s possible to love someone so much—without even getting their permission.
And while I have long forgotten to calculate the risk of what-if’s, I am realizing I really don’t want to be known as the girl with a broken heart.
Up until now, I have loved you in my heart—ever so silently. But now, I cannot hide it anymore.
I can no more fight the urge to rest my head on your shoulder and tell you much I love you every time you smile so adorably. I am sorry but I no more want to pretend that I’m okay when inside I’m praying so hard for you not to leave at this moment.
And so you have to tell me if we are on the same page. I have to know it, before it becomes impossible to erase your name from the walls of my heart.
The truth is, I too want to be a happy girl who is loved by the man she loves the most. More now, because I know I deserve it. I don’t want to just settle—or compromise.
You should know, if I have it my way, and you still have it yours, I am willing to breathe your name till my last breath—with you or without you. But I know, I should not.
There’s a woman inside the soul of this little, hopeless romantic, who doesn’t allow me to do this. She is not giving me the permission to keep breaking my own heart.
I know you have your own challenges and fears. I understand that you need to conquer these before you give your heart to anyone. I can see you are afraid if you’ll be able to love me in ways I deserve to.
But let me also tell you something. No woman falls for a man who doesn’t have it in him to love her. I know you can do it—in a way no one else can.
It’s all about whether you want to.
You might think you are doing the right things, saying the right words. But I am sorry, I cannot fathom your actions and words at this moment. And so even if you may or not be sure if you are ready to walk this path with me, you need to let me know if you are willing to.
I might not have felt the need to ask you this before, but from hereon, I need your permission.
I need your permission to feel this one true love for you.