I am a serial monogamist. I hop from boyfriend to boyfriend, relationship to relationship. It drives my friends nuts.
“You always have a guy meanwhile I’ll be single forever” they would joke.
But I have to confess, I envied them. I envied their freedom. I envied their independence. I envied their ability to go to sleep every night sprawled out like a starfish. But I was terrified.
My parents’ broken marriage made me cling to companionship. I was terrified of what it meant to be single.
Would I go overboard and give it out to any guy who tried? Would I be lonely? Who would I text? Who would I make dinner with? Who would I binge watch Family Guy with?
This past spring when my boyfriend and I broke up, I decided to step out of my comfort zone. Embrace my inner Queen Bey and become one of the strong, single women that I always envied. I learned to love and care for myself as much as I wanted someone else to. I firmly believe that everyone needs to go through this phase in their 20’s before they are ready to settle down. Here’s why:
1. You aren’t tied down. You are fully capable of moving to San Francisco tomorrow and pursuing your dream job. You can take a year off and backpack across Europe. You have nothing and no one holding you back from living your best life. Take advantage of it.
2. You have more time for friends. No man means more time for mimosas and brunch on Sunday and wine nights on Wednesday. The friendships you build in your 20’s are the ones that last a lifetime. Spend time with your future bridesmaids instead of aimlessly searching for your future husband. Plus, most of them will be single too so you won’t have to worry about being “the single one.”
3. You get to spend time finding yourself instead of finding out why your boyfriend is mad at you. Men are jealous and emotional. When you are single, no one will get mad at you when another guy buys you a drink. No one will get mad at you for having guy friends. No one will get mad at you for flirting with the gorgeous guy you met at happy hour. You have complete freedom. There are so many fish in the sea.
4. You save money. No more spending paychecks from your underpaying job on birthday presents, Christmas presents, valentine’s day, expensive dinners, dates, etc. Save the $7 you’d spend on chocolates and a card for valentine’s day and get this avocado bath bomb from LUSH for a well-deserved spa night instead.
5. You get healthier. Let’s be honest guys are pigs. Their idea eating healthy is ordering a chicken club sandwich instead of a double quarter pounder at Mcdonalds. When you are constantly surrounded by men, you become more inclined to make that late night Taco Bell run when you’re stoned or ditch the gym to go to Wawa in honor of hoagiefest. Plus, when you’re single you have so much more time to go for a jog around a lake or actually go to a class at that yoga studio you pass everyday on the way to work.
6. You can do whatever the hell you want. Your 20’s are the only time in your life when you can get away with blacking out on a Tuesday night dancing on tables with your girlfriends and then walk of shaming home in your romper from the night before. Make memories. Make mistakes. Own it. Learn.
Don’t get me wrong – relationships can be amazing and fulfilling in your 20’s. But don’t waste your time seeking out a boyfriend when there are so many reasons to enjoy being single during your peak years. Don’t waste your time with dumb guys who make you cry.
Learn to put yourself first. Don’t settle ever. You deserve the world.