The Reason You Are So Afraid To Love

 Avi Richards
Avi Richards

Most of us, if not all, have experienced that euphoric feeling of loving and being loved at some point in our lives. It makes us feel so complete, so wholesome and nothing can ever replace the feeling of love. You find yourself going out of your way, changing your habits, and doing things you never would have imagined you would do if you weren’t with the one you love. Moments like these can never be erased from your memories no matter how hard you try. What could possibly go wrong? And then it does.

Your world seems to crumble from inside you, consuming you until it hurts so much but yet you still maintain your cheerful exterior shell to conceal the wreck that you are inside. After all, these things happen don’t they? You try to convince yourself that this is just a phase that everyone has to experience before they find the right one. You tell yourself there are lessons that you can carry forward to make your next relationship even better than the previous one. But this never happens either.

It’s not that you aren’t trying. You are, sometimes desperately, but consumed with the fact that you know happily ever afters don’t exist, you hold yourself back.

The hurt and pain from before seem to have been unknowingly dragged along even more than the lessons you swore that you would hold on to dearly. You try to get your feet wet again in this relationship business but with the slightest bite, you find yourself darting off in the opposite direction. It won’t be the first time you bare your soul to another person but the thought of losing that trust once more hurts too much for you to try again.

You struggle to find an outlet and end up loving the people that can’t and don’t love you back. You do this stupidly because you have convinced yourself that you can’t get hurt from a failed relationship that never happened in the first place.

At the same time, you wonder what is it that makes you so unwanted and unloved by them, not knowing you are doing it to yourself. You close yourself up to the people who do and focus your energy on those who don’t reciprocate your love. It doesn’t make it easier when the other person reciprocates only for his or her own selfish gains. You mistake this for love and spiral in this whirlpool of self-pity and wonder what you have done wrong to deserve this unrequited love when it all eventually ends. You attribute all these reasons to have simply become too afraid to love.

It’s about time you woke up from your sleep. It’s not that there isn’t anyone who loves you back, it’s simply because you refuse to acknowledge their presence. They are right there in your midst, waiting with open arms. All you have to do is crawl out of the relationship grave that you have dug for yourself, open your eyes and knock some sense into your occluded head.

Stop clinging on to the people who not only can’t offer you anything in return, but are using you for their own egocentric gain. Don’t mistake their reciprocity as their love for you.

Once they no longer have a use for you, they will drop you faster than hot potatoes. You have been so blinded by your own stupidity that you are missing out on possibly the best relationship your life has to offer. So wake up and get out there. These opportunities don’t last a lifetime, but the relationships do.  TC mark

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