It’s not necessarily easy to be closed off. It’s something that builds slowly over time and all of a sudden there’s a giant wall surrounding you that you built. But you had no idea it would be so large, so suffocating.
When you’re a guarded person, when you don’t let people in easily, you trick yourself into thinking it makes you stronger. You believe that by building this massive wall around yourself that you are protecting yourself. You see these bricks around you and you think, ‘no one can hurt me in here.’
I believe you count yourself out of that statement when you say it.
You can hurt yourself in there. When you’re the only one left who knows who you are it’s hard not to cause some damage. It’s easier to hide from growth and change when no one knows that you need it.
I would encourage you to knock that wall down. Keeping it up doesn’t make you stronger, but knocking it down will. It will strengthen you to be vulnerable, to be open to others and the love that want to give to you. Don’t look for someone to knock that wall down for you, look for someone to help you clean up the mess once you’re done knocking it down yourself.
Once you open yourself up to others, even to the most surprising of people, you might shock yourself by the relationships you build. It’s scary and yes, you will probably get hurt at some point, but it’ll be worth it when you find the relationships that matter most.
Life will be sad and scary and hurtful, and that’s okay. However, life is fantastic and gorgeous and beautiful, but you can only experience that side of it if you allow others to help show it to you. You can find some of that yourself, sure, but others have experiences that you don’t have, and you should let them share those with you.
You might find more than you think you will.