I know our limits wholeheartedly because we set them together. We know the risks. You know this much about me and you let me know this much about you. We’re gonna make the best partners in crime because we have the same goals in life. We believe in the same things, ideas and opinions and that make us really unique. We are not the total opposites, so basically the “opposite attracts” phrase does not really get into us because I think what we have is beyond famous lines or quotes. We’re beautiful together but I can’t possibly be falling in love with you.
We are amazingly in sync; the way we think, the way we speak, the things we like, the things we hate. And more than that we share the same priorities. We both want to be individually settled before we enter long term relationships. You know, the usual: get a degree, have a stable job, afford own shelter and the like. I admire that we actually think like matured adults, or at least we’re both trying to. You said that we better settle on our own first before jumping into the conclusions of life where there is no going back. And I agreed. Fervently. But I denied my feelings for you or whatever it is in me for the longest time. We were haters of dramatic love cliches so I can’t possibly be falling in love with you.
You. You were the best reminder for me to focus on what’s important in this silly life. You were my constant. As early as now I know we’re going to keep each other til we start our own families, get grey hair, and slowly lose our sight. It’s wrong to say this but maybe you know me better than I know myself. You know when I am PMSing, when I am tired of work, when I am wallowing in my shell of negativity and you know how to turn things around.
But I am also grateful for you were not always there. You were not the knight in shining armor in my fairytale because you believe in my capability of handling myself on my own. We were not there for each other every time to be honest. It’s not the typical us. We don’t hang on to each other every moment of the day just to keep whatever this is alive and afire. You value your own space and you let me value mine as well. And I love how we give each other the space that we both deserve. That in life, even married people need not to break their own walls to prove their commitment and love for each other. But maybe this is just a mere fantasy because I can’t possibly be falling in love with you.
I don’t know how this feeling can be perpetually true but nevertheless I don’t think it is invalid. For God’s sake I don’t want you to know that I may be falling in love with you already. I convince myself everyday to try and fight my feelings harder to just be satisfied with whatever we have right now. Because this is enough. Just being the best friend feels just as perfect as how II want things to be.
But there’s a part of me that maybe you think and feel the same way too.That you’re afraid of risking this friendship too. That maybe, we are so in sync and we both try to fight our feelings altogether. That maybe, there is something that holds you back too. I don’t want to live the rest of my life regretting the moment of my maybes and for not letting you see through me. That I only told you this much about me and kept in the corners of my heart all the things you should have known.
The other part of me believes that this is for the best. That at the right time we will be sure of each other. That whatever we are going through right now will be the foundation of something bigger, something grand, something that will surely last long. That maybe, in God’s perfect time, I will not doubt the possibility of falling in love with you.