I’ve been in love quite a few times. Actually, I’ve been in love more than a typical college girl should. Every relationship I have been in has been serious and I blame it on my strong desire of being wanted. I was known as the girl that couldn’t go long without having a guy to lean on. My friends told me that I “always needed someone.” I found this very insulting. I didn’t need anyone; I wanted someone to need me. After my fair share of experiences, I’ve learned not to make anyone my crutch.
I fell in a dark place where I felt like I couldn’t live without someone to rely on. Someone to love and that would love me back. But, that was no way to live. I put my key to happiness in someone else’s pocket–and I needed it back.
My mother has always told me that nothing is more important than honoring you. The proper way of living your life is putting your energy towards yourself rather than those who don’t deserve it. My friends were always telling me to “be with someone who makes you happy.” I wanted to be someone who made me happy.
I poured all the love I had to give to any guy that came my way and left none for myself for when I was alone. I was lost and had to do something to make me feel complete again. I spent all my time doing things that made me happy– like getting absorbed into books, music, and art. It’s okay to let yourself get lost in objects–they never leave.
I grew up in a house with a psychic who believes that self-empowerment is the key to loving yourself. I found that promoting positive energy and focusing on my well-being and myself was my path to happiness. I had to stop looking for Mr. Right and live in the moment. I needed to build friendships not relationships. I needed to find myself not destroy myself. I slowly but surely learned that the right person would eventually find their way to you–if you take the steps in order to love yourself first and stop searching for someone to fill that job for you.
When the right person does come, don’t lose yourself just because you found somebody. It’s crucial to learn to be happy by yourself before you start to feel like you need someone else to hold you up all the time. You won’t be able to appreciate someone loving you until you love yourself.
Spend a night in bed watching your favorite Netflix show. Express your creativity through art. Turn off all electronics and connect with yourself. Take walks. Listen to music that has an impact on you. Write. Find things about yourself that make you smile. It’s so important to value yourself. Once you’ve mastered it, someone will walk into your life and give you more reasons to smile.
Oscar Wilde once said, “to love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”