10 Extremely Satisfying Things Basic B*tches Can’t Live Without, And Aren’t Afraid To Admit
As a firm believer in the Pumpkin Spice Latte, I feel the need to defend the worldwide phenomenon that is a “Basic” girl. The last few guys I’ve dated had the audacity to make fun of certain things that brought me joy. While this mockery was an obvious deal breaker, it was also kind of sad. Why am I being ridiculed for the things I love, especially when those things usually come in a Starbucks cup?
And so, I thought I’d give a little insight into the mind of a Basic. Of course, the reasons we love the things we love are incredibly complicated and fall far from common sense…(that’s “Basic” sarcasm). I cannot speak on behalf of all Basics (only most), but here is a simple breakdown of why we could not live without the following:
1.Uggs
Do yourself a favor and try on a single Ugg. They’re literally hugs for your feet. And if that’s so wrong, I certainly don’t want to be right.
2.Yoga pants
Why do you wear jeans? Because they’re comfortable, stretchy, slimming, and butt lifting? Didn’t think so.
3.Throwing Peace Signs
Damn, we just want world peace. We’re spreading happiness and equality…and showing off our new gel manicures and mid-finger rings.
4. Selfies
I think it’s fair to say we’ve reached a point in time where the female to male selfie ratio is about even. Pathetic? Maybe. True? Absolutely.
5. Drake
First of all, we basically grew up with Drake via Degrassi, and long-term friends support each other. So, there’s that. He’s ambitious, which is (NEWS FLASH) attractive. And he’s a soft, bad boy and a vision in black snapbacks and camera flashes. His songs have smooth melodies and clever verses that have a way of making us feel understood, sexy, and wild for the night. Oh and, believe it or not, his staggering success is due to a little more than us squealing over his music videos on Youtube. Shall I continue?
6. Going to the bathroom together
Fomo (Fear Of Missing Out) is in our DNA, bathroom gossip sessions have proved to solve monumental issues, and we need to check that our high-waisted pants aren’t slouching or, even worse, our middle parts didn’t run askew.
7. Dance trends
Unfortunately, we don’t all have natural-born rhythm and comfort on the dance floor. Making up moves as you go without embarrassing yourself requires talent or tequila. For your sake (those who are players posted up in the club), we spend grueling hours perfecting dance trends through video tutorials, Miley Cyrus gifs, and floor-length mirrors. We just want to be part of the fun.
8. Ombre hair
We can be blonde and brunette at the same time. We don’t like to limit ourselves.
9. Quoting Mean Girls
Besides being the number one quotable movie, of, like, all time, Tina Fey is the reason we survived high school. She taught us acceptance, individuality, and that the limit does not exist!
10. “I can’t even”
We can’t.
In conclusion, if you see us post a picture on Instagram of, say, a cappuccino coupled with an Audrey Hepburn quote, go ahead and double tap. If you hear us say we were born to be a mermaid, there should be a reality show about us and our friends, or that today is total sweater weather, agree with us.
And if you find someone who is passionate about any of the above, or anything at all, listen to them, respect their passions, and support their happiness. Security is a powerful feeling that isn’t easy to attain completely from within. There’s so much pressure in this world, please don’t take our Starbucks pleasures from us.
There you go non-Basics, hope all makes sense in your world now. And Basics near and far, continue confidently in your Basic ways.