When it comes to the dating world, it’s pretty messy out there.
I was out at dinner with my girlfriends and a few guys who used to buy vodka for us when our fake ids didn’t work. We were all catching up over drinks and flatbread. The boys had all moved up in their careers, one in film production, one in finance, and one in fashion (a classic bundle of LA occupations). Non of them had serious girlfriends, but all seemed to have serious stories about various sluts, celebrities, and swimsuit models that they’d recently hooked up with.
“Will you ever settle down?” I wondered, finishing my second cocktail and looking around for our waiter.
“Listen, it’s like this,” the man in finance offered, “I love pizza and pasta, but can I eat it every night? No!”
“Another round please!” I spat at our passing waiter. With vile comments like this being thrown around, I needed to graduate from buzzed to drunk real quick. Being compared to Italian food isn’t the worst insult to women I’ve heard this year, but it definitely resonated.
A week later I was downtown at a sample sale with an older friend of mine. She’d recently ended a three-year relationship with the man she expected to marry. Her spirits seemed high and her waist was two sizes smaller. Heartbreak looked good on her.
“Anyways, I’m seeing someone new, and he’s perfect,” Ahhh…that explains it. She’d been dating a tall, blonde, professional surfer with a sweet smile and childlike sense of humor. She seemed genuinely happy when she described the look in his eyes whenever he saw her after a long day in the salt water. She seemed equally happy when she told me they were in an open relationship and each had sex with other people if they so pleased. I peeled around to the other side of the dress rack to hide my look of horror in grey cashmere.
I couldn’t help but wonder, is monogamy out of style?
I’d momentarily given up hope. I was blind to the good guys and only saw the losers clogging up the streets. It was a sea of cheaters, fakers, liars, and players. I fell into a week of self-pity, cursed my generation, and considered lowering my standards to adjust to the times.
But then Friday happened. I sat down for coffee with a young, bright-eyed couple I’d known for years. They were expecting their first child and even the darkest of nights couldn’t dull their blissful glow. Under the table I noticed their hands, intertwined and perfectly comfortable. They stared at each other with rays of love, and found confidence in one another. And just like that, my hope was restored.
It’s easy to get frustrated in the single world. Nights get lonely, lost loves leave scars, and expectations aren’t met. Sometimes I look out at the waves and wonder how much longer I have to wait. But certain things take time, and the wait is well worth it. In the circus of sleaze-balls and f*ckboys, there will stand a man; a true man, with a heart to give. And when I find that other half; pizza, pasta, or kale salad, I’ll love him every day.