Your brain has become dependent on him calling you back and telling you he’s sorry, and that you’re beautiful. Your brain has become dependent on him touching your cheek and kissing your neck. And when he takes this away from you, your brain will override what your broken but strong heart is telling you.
Be self-conscious in the way that recognizes that you have a body, which is yours to take care of. And be self-conscious about the ways in which you treat your body.
You think that because your head is hidden beneath a blanket of insecurity, that they too are subject to feeling the same way as you do about all of your self-declared flaws.
He called you a whale. He said it was a joke. You thought it was funny. You go out for dinner and order a salad only and take an hour to finish it, and call yourself a whale. The joke is not funny.