14 Signs You’re The Drunk Uncle Of Your Group

Johan Larsson
Johan Larsson

1. When out drinking, your friends constantly remind you to pace yourself and bring up old memories of the last time you drank too much whiskey and threw up on your infinity scarf. They also might constantly bring you water or refrain from taking shots with you.

2. You’re always the first to say you’re down for a house party…or the club…or the bar…or day drinking. You’re the first one to rally the troops when it comes time to get wild after school and work.

3. You get rowdy at ridiculous things like your favorite Zedd song coming on the radio or your favorite TV airing that night. It doesn’t take much to amp you up and keep you at that level of energy.

4. You’ve been known to instigate fights with random strangers over things like walking too slowly or taking too long in the bathroom. When a potential altercation arises, your friends have taken to forcefully covering your mouth so your backlash stays to yourself.

5. At potlucks you always think it is appropriate to bring a bottle or nine of Trader Joe’s wine instead of an actual dish. People have stopped asking you to cook because at this point they know your idea of cooking is a bag of blue corn tortilla chips and some mild salsa.

6. When over your friends house, they know to hide the snacks from you because you’re notorious for eating them all in one sitting.

7. Your friends take away your phone when you’re in any emotional or inebriated state because they know the dark fever dream texts your thumbs produce when your mind is altered.

8. You’re told by restaurant staff to quiet down and stop cursing around families because it is making them uncomfortable.

9. Your tongue is out in every photo from every party you’ve been to. When you show up at house parties, people cheer because they know the true fun has finally arrived to take body shots and fist pump.

10. You’re never asked to plan events or parties or basically anything that would require commitment and organization. Your friends are just happy you show up to the things they tell you to.

11. Your friends check in on you often to see if you’re going to class enough and ask how your grades are. While all of them are discussing their future internships and job prospects, you get the sense that they’re purposefully sparing you from the conversation because you have nothing to contribute.

12. You’ve been asked to leave establishments and people’s houses on more than one occasion for offending someone with your loud, outspoken opinions.

13. Your friends ask you when the last time you’ve shaved/ gotten your haircut/ cleaned your room at least once a month and offer to help you pick up after yourself because they can’t handle anymore just how much of a mess you are.

14. Friends wait to introduce you to their new significant others and when they finally do, they warn you with a “be nice,” due to fear you’ll say something to offend them. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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