Recapping ‘American Horror Story: Coven’ Week 9

• The episode opens with what should be a sweet camping trip between father and son (father and grandpa? #notclear). Except, this is American Horror Story and nothing is ever sweet. After drinking coffee for the first time, young Sarah Paulson’s husband is asked to “put down” a witch who tries to lit him on fire.
• The witch he has to shoot sort-of-kind-of looks like Helen Botham Carter. Hey, babe.
• Every time there is a scene between Angela Bassett and Jessica Lange my heart goes a flutter. I’m convinced that Angela Bassett is a witch for being able to look that good at the age of 55. Lange comes around to try and form an alliance between the witches and the voodoo priestesses, only to not understand that it is Angela Bassett who is the one trying to slaughter every last one of them.

• Thankfully Kathy Bates is still around, but is only a head that gets to speak. Bassett tells Queenie to burn the head, but she secretly takes Kathy Bates up to her apartment where she insists on educating her about the “people she tortured, my people.” Her education includes a diet of fast food and watching Roots and Roots: The Next Generation on repeat.
• I feel like Sarah Paulson adjusted to being blind extremely fast. Albeit, she’s in the same house she’s always lived it.
• Myrtle, however needs her sweet Sarah Paulson that she was not the one who blinded her. However, she always wears gloves when she touches her and insists on plucking the eyes out of her two colleagues in order to give Paulson back her sight. Once she is able to see again, Paulson is unable to have visions anymore. Such subtle irony! I’m not saying Myrtle is evil…but girl has some issues that will probably flare up.

• There is a corporation of witch hunters? How clever and inventive~
• Srsly what are some of the camera angels this season? I get it, it’s artsy…I get it.
• No one in this show dies and no one can stay blind now…?
• Half an hour into the episode my precious Madison finally appears with the gem of a line, “ugh, sick people really gross me out,” as she lights a cigarette.
• Jamie Brewer delivers another powerhouse performance as Nan and I’m still gunning for her to be the Supreme.
• Patti LuPone’s character needs to troll down. The second I think she’s getting some sweet character development, it’s revealed that she killed her husband by locking him in a car with bees. Sure, he cheated, but that is some My Girl shit I will not look past.
• Plus, she smothers her son! Now we’ll never see his abs again *fan boy tear*
• I want Madison’s hat, so if anyone knows where I could get one- let me know!
• Angela Bassett plays with boys like dolls? Same, girl, same. But how does she expect Sarah Paulson’s husband to kill the witches when he is basically bleeding out?
• “Can you see my heart, can you see it’s bleeding?” Not yet, sir, but it will soon!
• Did Tate/ Kyle kill that dog after hugging it? Noo, not cool when animals are hurt.

• AH! Jessica Lange fixed Tate/ Kyle and now he can play cards and look adorable without me feeling awkward about it. He’s the coven’s new “guard dog,” which is cool, I guess. I understand that this season is about female empowerment but there are almost no redeemable male characters this season. Like, none. Ryan Murphy doesn’t seem to like men or mothers this season.
• Shit…I was not expecting that ending. I’m honestly just as uncomfortable as I was in season 1 with the school shooting. I hope Queenie makes it after she was injured in the stomach by Sarah Paulson’s husband and his shotgun.

What are your thoughts on this episode? Sound off in the comments below!

I write this weekly piece as I watch the episode. If you would like to join in next episode and potentially see your input here,  live-tweet with me at @ShawnBinder or use the hashtag #AHS4TC so I can read your lovely thoughts!