Halloween just wouldn’t be the same without American Horror Story. Last night’s episode was particularly frightening with it’s zombies and lack of Emma Roberts. Will Roberts return? Will zombies play a central theme for the rest of the season? We just don’t know. One thing, however, is certain. The war between witches and voodoo priestess is on…and it’s going to be fucking insane.
- The episode opens with a heartbreaking hate crime that made me want to immediately finish my bottle of wine. A young black man is lynched and in return, Angela Basset raises the dead for vindication. It is American Horror Story mixed with The Walking Dead for the first moment of the season that truly terrified me.
- The creepiest tea party to ever exist. Literally nothing scares me more than a man who collects/ dresses like a doll. No ma’am. Not here for this. Sorry, Denis O’Hare
- I hated having to relive my baby Emma Roberts dying again.
- They always make Denis O’Hare pine for Jessica Lange’s character…but I get it because I pine for her as well.
- Queenie and the Minotaur didn’t have hot sex; nope he just almost killed her. If Queenie dies, I will put my foot through the TV
- I genuinely wonder whether Jessica Lange’s character is good or evil this season. She does some truly fucked up shit…but she has moments of deep sympathy and pathos. Maybe I don’t need to know. Ryan Murphy seems to understand that good and evil isn’t a binary, sometimes there can be a balance.
- Kathy Bates is seriously such a delight this season. Although maybe her character development from murderous racist to decent human being is happening a little too quickly? Maybe that’s just me, but seeing how upset she was at Queenie being hurt raised my suspicious.
- Special delivery- your boyfriend’s Minotaur head in a box.
- Tate, babe, you okay? Stop hitting your pretty head. Stop that.
- Taissa makes her boyfriend a delicious lunch of tuna and rat poison. Only before he escapes and it’s not addressed for the rest of the episode. Taissa, get your shit together, girl!
- If you took a shot every time Taissa Farmiga cried in this show, you would be dead.
- Emma Roberts did not speak a single line this episode and her lack of presence was felt. The episode wasn’t as much fun. It wasn’t as sassy or light-hearted. I miss you, Emma, baby, come back!
- It was revealed that Emma Robert’s character had a heart murmur, thus making it impossible for her to be the supreme. Jessica Lange done fucked up slashing her throat and is now on the warpath to find out who the new supreme actually is. I’m gunning for Nan to be the supreme. It needs to be Nan.
- YOUNG MORIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOUNG MORIA!? Why do you look so different!? Why are you having hotter sex that should be allowed on cable television?!
- Sarah Paulson’s boyfriend is a monster. Like the type of insane that hate fucks and shoots young Moria in the head the moment she enters the episode. Rude boy.
- Are there sushi vending machines in New Orleans? I don’ know, I’ve never been but damn. 2013, what a year to be alive.
- The man on the witches’ council may be the sassiest character to ever grace the television screen.
- Jessica Lange constantly reminds everyone that she is “the baddest witch in town.” I seriously cannot get enough of her. This is perhaps her finest performance in the show’s three-season run. I smell all the accolades coming her way.
- “Madison is a stone cold bitch who likes hard drinking, big dicks, and trouble. If she is dead it is probably because she got wasted and offered the grim reaper a hand job.”- I am basically Madison Montgomery.
- Although, even as a human doll, Emma Roberts is looking as gorgeous as ever.
- Sarah Paulson’s gorgeous face better not be ruined! She is totally pregnant and got some acid splashed in her face. Girl can’t catch a break. Was that A from Pretty Little Liars in her black hoodie throwing that acid?!
- I literally don’t think I can wait another week for the next episode. When Kathy Bates opened up the door to find her zombie-fied daughters at the door, I audibly gasped. Shit is about to get real.
What are your thoughts on this episode? Sound off in the comments below!
I write this weekly piece as I watch the episode. If you would like to join in next episode and potentially see your input here, live-tweet with me at @ShawnBinder or use the hashtag #AHS4TC so I can read your lovely thoughts!