23 Hilarious Christmas Tweets To Get You Into The Holiday Spirit
What should I get gf for Christmas? She's allergic to beef so don't suggest hot injections.
— Ernie LuckMan (@ErnieLies) December 12, 2014
Change all the nouns in Christmas Carols to Fucktard
The children will love it.
Think of the children.— John Lurie (@lurie_john) December 6, 2014
i consider my presence a present. merry christmas everyone
— Alan Garner (@AIanHangover) December 12, 2014
https://twitter.com/dannyy_kellyy/status/543368682492424192
https://twitter.com/Gracecamille_/status/542446509195657216
https://twitter.com/crylenol/status/543231964606500865
"mom this turkey is some goood shit"
"JIMMY I WILL NOT TOLERATE IRONY AT CHRISTMAS"
…
"these bad potatoes are actually good"— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) December 12, 2014
SPACE COMMANDER: instant translator enabled
BIG BABYMAN: I hate Christmas music
TRANSLATOR: I hate myself for fucking LOVING Christmas music— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) December 11, 2014
[getting blackmailed]
"I'll show everyone this pic of you in your wife's uggs"
bastard, I only wore those to turn on the christmas lights— brent (@murrman5) December 11, 2014
Glad we kept christ in Christmas this year and didn't just call it mas
— Duncan Itch.io (@hamsandcastle) December 11, 2014
Christmas was always a terrifying time when I was growing up because my mom told me a clown delivered all the presents
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) December 11, 2014
I hate when kids snoop for their Christmas presents pic.twitter.com/SBli5m9st1
— Betsy (@sistersome) December 10, 2014
the worst thing about christmas is Love Actually
— jennifer (@FourEyedQueef) December 11, 2014
*door opens*
"We wish you a Merry Christmas /
*…fades into general sadness*
*…anti-crescendos into Barb blowing her nose*
And a Happy N— greg (@GrowlyGrego) December 11, 2014
the tradition of everyone gathering round the christmas boy to give me 600 dollars is being attacked by web grinches because i 'made it up'
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) December 11, 2014
top level mcdonalds executives have a full body nude mold made of themselves and on christmas they get a mcnugget body double delivered
— BAKOON (@BAKKOOONN) December 11, 2014
https://twitter.com/lowtax/status/542964401129529344
https://twitter.com/tbhjuststop/status/542884745974001664
https://twitter.com/robfee/status/542865850760704002
me: wow its WAY TOO EARLY to be playing christmas music. like stop
jesus: cool ill remember that near your bday u piece of shit
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) December 11, 2014
https://twitter.com/ahuj9/status/542820026517323776
Santa, that fake person that we made up, is white. Sorry America. Stop the attack on Christmas.
— Osama Bin Lobster™ (@Cool_Gay_Dad) December 10, 2014
https://twitter.com/trash_sleeper/status/542773991543676929